Music made for a game jam that didn’t go super well.
This, too, ended up not going into a game that got released in time for the jam, due to time constraints and overly-ambitious scope. I’m detecting a theme, here.
This year did not have a good track record for me. I’d definitely prefer if people who come to me for music have a plan to release something even if it’s unfinished.
Originally made this for a game which got cancelled due to time constraints and overly-ambitious scope, so it’s unfinished.
Originally made this for a game which got cancelled due to time constraints and overly-ambitious scope, so I repurposed it for a different game, which also didn’t get finished for the jam due to time constraints and overly-ambitious scope.
Made for Rubber Wizard Can’t Catch A Break. I always enjoy making music for this series.
#GameJams #OST #StrawberryJam #EDM #BossaNova #Chiptune #Classical #Techno ]]>Music done for Strawberry Jam 9 and a couple other things.
A version of “Chilling” meant to evoke certain cute villager games.
A few tracks for Starknights, doing a crafting/shooting game.
This was an idea for Yamatsu’s boss fight music, although it was rejected for not fitting the vibe. Totally valid.
The title of this track is a Simpsons + Wagner reference.
The actual boss fight music for Yamatsu.
This is the combat theme but with some extra pizzazz.
A version of “Chilling” made to sound like there’s an encroaching deadline.
This is the overworld theme for Yamatsu.
Yamatsu wanted a soundtrack for a Binding of Isaac/Enter the Gungeon-like, with intimate scenes, and with combat music reminiscent of Armored Core.
eyetooth wanted to continue their project from last year.
Sneaky stealth puzzle action
Jigs pitched a fishing game in the style of Animal Crossing, and specifically wanted some chill bossa nova.
Another year, another Rubber Wizard game. This time around Kageki asked me to do more of the same style as before, and suggested La Gazza Ladra as an inspiration. I also threw in a bit of the Sailor Moon theme for good measure.
Some affection music for having finished the sneaky stealth puzzles.
Did I say “affection?” I meant “fucking.”
This is the horny theme for Yamatsu.
Every month, Jeremy Blake runs a songwriting challenge where a theme is provided, and for February, the theme was “liminal music,” i.e. music made for things like save/safe rooms in action/horror/survival games. Being games-related I felt like this fit in with the jam, even though it wasn’t done for a Strawberry Jam game per se.
I don’t really have a lot to say about this track since I don’t play a lot of games with a safe room mechanism to begin with, because real life is already anxiety-inducing enough. So I just thought I’d capture the tension of being in a room where you’re trying to get away from the world but can’t completely forget about it.
Title music for Ass Without a Trace 2.
This is the standard combat theme for Yamatsu.
Gone Fishing. It’s a game about fishing… right?
Yeah, fishing.
A shopping theme for Gone Fishing.
For a visual novel prequel to Gooning Simulator I was given a rather long and detailed pitch, but for the jam the scope was limited to just a single flirting scene at a bar. Maybe this game will get more music later.
A post-puzzle affection scene.
#CD #GameJams #OST #StrawberryJam ]]>These are some of my oldest songs, all but one of them written back when I first started writing songs with lyrics. They have been completely reimagined and rearranged as a celebration of where I started and of how far I’ve come.
These songs serve as a sort of soundtrack to my life, especially in those days of the early 2000s, when I was struggling with gender and my mental health, and trying to figure out what I even wanted to be when I grew up (in more ways than one). They’ve been sitting on a shelf, fermenting for decades, and they are songs that I am finally ready to share with the world.
They tell a story of aspiration and heartbreak, of being trapped by my circumstances and escaping, and ultimately finding my own path forward.
These songs are super personal and personally-meaningful, and I am glad that they are finally out there in the world.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
I wrote this song in response to a well-meaning but clueless friend who saw I was suffering and would tell me I should “just cheer up.”
“Just cheer up” won’t make me less depressed.
“Just cheer up” won’t solve my anxiety.
“Just cheer up” won’t fix my chronic pain.
“Just cheer up” won’t take away my stressors.
“Just cheer up” won’t stop the world from hating me just for being me.
Fuck toxic positivity.
Anyway I think it was pretty bold of me to rhyme “up” with “up.” Those are the kinds of innovative lyrical ideas that normally only come with decades of experience.
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already, Alright, alright?
Things aren’t always gonna go my way But tomorrow is another day You’re not helping me to feel very steady, though, Alright, alright?
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not feeling so steady Alright, alright?
Please don’t try to cheer me up Yes I know I have enough coffee in my cup I get your point already Alright, alright?
Your voice is getting me twisted up If you don’t stop talking, I am hanging up Your cheer isn’t helping me feel any more All right, alright?
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not feeling so steady Alright, alright?
Don’t you even try To think that I Just need to have it pointed out that It’ll be alright
Metaphorically I I just wanna die Or at least have the world go away Until I am alright
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already, Alright, alright!
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already, Alright, alright
Back in 2003, when this song was originally written, it was considered “okay” and “funny” to dox and harass trans people. And if it happened to someone, clearly it was their fault for being trans and not being 100% perfect at keeping their private information private.
Ask me how I know.
In the midst of getting dozens of harassing phone calls, random evangelists being sent to my door hearing I’d “found Jesus,” and being added to dozens of religious mailing lists, I was, as you might expect, pretty tired and grumpy.
And the people around me thought it was just a joke, or my fault for being trans. What could I expect from society, because of this “choice” I “made?”
And meanwhile, being largely in the closet in person, I couldn’t even share that this was going on with most people around me. They could see that I was stressed, but as usual, leaned hard on toxic positivity nonsense, telling me that I needed to cheer up and that things weren’t so bad.
Sometimes you just need to wallow and hide, and sometimes it’s okay to tell people to fuck right off, especially when they refuse to get it.
The original version of this song was a lot angrier, and also only had three chords. It was one of the first songs to be selected for remixing on Remix Fight (a long-gone side project from a bunch of Song Fight! people), and I was fortunate enough to have the song be remixed by Victor “fourstones” Stone, who would later go on to found ccMixter. I had actually forgotten all about that until a few days before I started on this track (and had no idea how I was going to handle this song) and his remix came up in my playlist, and one of the changes he made to the chord progression gave me the inspiration I needed to complete my new arrangement.
So, thank you, Victor, wherever you are.
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Why did someone have to chase the clouds away I just don’t want to come outside and play I just want the rain to wash my tears away
Don’t want you coming here, try to change my mind You don’t know just how I feel, I feel I’m feeling fine You don’t know what it’s like, living in my brain It’s not the things you think that keep me in this pain
Today is just another sunny day Why don’t you go and chase some fucking clouds away I don’t want to come outside and play today I just want the rain to wash my tears away
I’m being eaten at, attacked from every side They smack me down, want me to drown, and take me for a ride You want to make me think it isn’t them it’s me It will not work, don’t be a jerk, I know how it should be
Oh it’s just another sunny day I wish the clouds could come and stay, for that I pray Please just leave me alone and go away Don’t want to see you now, just leave me alone today
I know it seems I’m on the edge of something bad You scream and shout that I’m “flipping out,” you’re just making me mad I’m the one who’s fine, it’s everyone else who’s insane But people suck, I’m out of luck, I just can’t play the game
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Please let me be, don’t bother me today (please bother me) I’m sick of you trying to chase my clouds away (chase my clouds away) I just want you to go the fuck away
It’s just another sunny day Why did someone have to chase my clouds away I just don’t want to come outside and play I just want you to stay
When Song Fight! posted the title “Repair My Heart,” I had just bought a CD-R of “royalty-free” loops (of extremely dubious origin) which came with a whole bunch of interesting beats and instrument one-shots. In particular there was a fun jungle beat which sounded like an off-kilter heartbeat to me.
So, I made a lo-fi jungle-ish track for my second Song Fight! entry.
There’s a long-running debate within Song Fight! about the legitimacy of instrumental tracks; one of the prevailing beliefs is that there’s nothing that ties an instrumental to the title, and what stops someone from entering an instrumental song for any given title, and then later entering it again for another title?
So I am quite pleased that Frankie Big Face, who was at one time one of the staunchest advocates of that above line of thinking, held up my Repair My Heart as a rare exception to that, an instrumental which could only work with that title.
Anyway, here it is as a jazz ensemble.
On the (sadly long-gone) original Song Fight! forum thread for this song, someone mentioned “Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown),” which was one of my favorite Beatles songs at the time, so of course I had to put a couple of references to it in the lyrics.
While this song is vaguely inspired by something my mom once said about a childhood pet bird, as well as some of the continuing aftermath of the messy breakup that inspired a few of my early Song Fight! songs, it is basically complete fiction. (And for what it’s worth, that ex and I have long since reconciled and are friends again.)
The evolution of this song is pretty typical: It started out as lo-fi jazz, then it became punk rock, and now it’s a baroque-esque string quartet. Y'know, a totally normal trajectory that all music follows.
I always wanted a bird of my own My mother had one but it had flown Away when she opened the window To let it be free as she loved it so
She always said that it would be, “If you love someone you set them free” And I know that I would love it so And I would open the window
It’s always sad when one’s not good Being in a cage made of Norwegian wood I’d hope that someone would love me so Much as to open my window
I once had a man, or should I say He once had me for a single day I thought that he had loved me so But he would not open my window
I flew away in a single day He chased me but I ran away Back to a place where I could be Myself and by myself be free
I always wanted a bird of my own My mother had one but it had flown Away when she opened the window To let it be free as she loved it so
I was going through some shit.
I’m better now.
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you I will always try To live to see you die You know always that I I will always try I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than You don’t know what I’m going through You can’t see from my point of view You will be on my mind You won’t be hard to find
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you I will always try To live to see you die You know always that I I will always try I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than You don’t know what I’m going through You can’t see from my point of view You will be on my mind You won’t be hard to find
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried
I am stronger than you
I am stronger than you
If The Supper Club was a love letter to Song Fight!, this one’s a Dear John.
In 2024, Song Fight! Live finally came back as an in-person event, after several years away due to the COVID-19 pandemic. When I arrived in Denver, though, I felt like I was only there out of obligation, and over the course of the next few days I felt like maybe I was done with Song Fight! for so many reasons. The community was a great way for me to get started as a songwriter, but it was starting to feel like I needed to pull back a bit and not be so emotionally-invested in it.
Over the next few days I had several good conversations with close friends in the community. They didn’t make me feel much better about Song Fight! itself (and in fact helped me to put words to some of the specific things I was feeling particularly bad about), but they did make me feel better about thinking it was time for me to move on.
I so was burned out and so frustrated at this thing that had been so important to me for so long, over half of my life at this point. The other music I’d been doing – small solo performances and scoring for video games and short films – was making me much happier than this ongoing thing, this community that used to bring me such joy.
So for the live fight title of “Valley Highway,” I decided to write a swan song.
But being up on stage, performing with friends, getting the reactions from folks about how much I’ve grown over the years and how much better we’ve all become for having participated in this ridiculous thing for so long? I started to feel a lot better.
I’m still not sure I want to be quite so involved in Song Fight! anymore, but at least I feel good about the time I’ve spent with it, and it’ll probably always be there for me when I need it.
Song Fight! has been so important to me, but it’s okay to move on.
It is time for me to go Down this newly open road I am grateful for how I have Had some of the best times of my life
Looking to the setting sun Looking out for number one Half a life is better than Having never lived a life at all Stuffed inside a letterbox Regrets and things better left unsaid
Here we are In the valley of my dreams
Time to fly Try to live up to my means
I remain so grateful for some Of the best times of my life
Under desert stormy skies Where my former passion lies Chasing down a memory of Better times and times left yet to come Fix my broken wings right up Because it’s long past time for me to fly
Here we are On the highway to my dreams
Time to fly Try to live up to my means
I remain so grateful for some Of the best times of my life
I remain forever grateful For some of the best times of my life
He was an openly gay man in his 50s. I was a mostly-closeted trans gal in my 20s. I was open to him. He was supportive.
He claimed he’d had a hard life, and had many stories to tell. Most of them reeked of bullshit to me. I’m not sure how much was true.
He’d become infatuated with me, and wanted to talk up my “brilliant mind.” I always felt like he was trying to coerce me into a relationship with him.
He would often send me letters to this effect.
This song isn’t about what happened between us, but it was certainly inspired by it.
I don’t know what’s become of him. We did briefly cross paths in a YouTube comment thread, of all the odd places, and I invited him to reconnect, but nothing happened from that.
I hope he’s doing well and that he’s found the love that he needs.
I got your letter Addressed to me Don’t know why you sent it It’s such a mystery
You said you’re broken Trying to hide Asked me how I’m doing, said you’re Burning up inside
You tell a story A lover in the past You say you think this time will be different That we will last
I don’t need this kind of attention And I don’t want your affection I don’t want you to always tell me How you think this is meant to be
Another letter You talk of dreams Seeing us together And everything’s serene
Another story How everything was wrong Until the day you met me, how I’m Wonderful and strong
I think you should know It’s hard on me The love you think you have is just a Cause of misery
I don’t need this kind of attention And I don’t want your affection I don’t want you to always tell me How you think this is meant to be
Another letter The paper splattered red By the time I read this you think That you might be dead
You said you loved me Why did I lead you on I’m pretty sure I didn’t want your Melancholy song
I call your lover She says you’re doing fine She told me that you said to tell me, “Please stay on the line”
I don’t need this kind of attention And I don’t want your affection I don’t want you to ever tell me How you think this is meant to be
You say you’re sorry For acting such a fool But can we still be friends if it would Not be cold and cruel
I say I’m sorry I never wanted you The image that you had of me was Anything but true
You say you’re sorry We share a quiet shame I’m sorry if you wanted me I just don’t feel the same
It was August 2004. I had just moved to New York City in July, and I had dreams of establishing myself as a musician and also finally transitioning and being able to be myself.
Turns out that “myself” is still just super introverted and socially anxious, and places like New York wear me down faster than they build me up.
Anyway the bit about “start a new family” was inspired by a stupid cishet-normative ad for life insurance that was plastered all over the subway at the time, about a mediocre man wanting to start a family and have two kids. In my take on it in the lyrics I never actually specify which part of the family I’d be taking, and I like to think that I’m just some sort of random factor that leads to a family being started without any continuing involvement of my own. Or maybe I’m the family pet. Who knows. This song is about random nerve firings that were going through my brain while sitting lonely on the subway and feeling isolated, and not about my actual aspirations.
This song always sort of felt like it would be the pivotal moment in a semi-fictional musical about my life, and I guess that in the end, that’s kind of what this album as a whole is.
This song would also be the second-to-last Song Fight! song I entered under the “band” name “fluffy porcupine.”
New York was, also, not the place for me, and a few months after first recording Run Faster (which was about my job situation in New York), I would end up moving to Seattle, and it was time to reinvent myself again. I experimented with a few different band names before finally settling on “Sockpuppet,” a reference to how many other names I’d been operating under, and how I am one person presenting myself as an entire ensemble.
In effect, this song marked the ending of one chapter in my life, and the beginning of the next. But my story is still being written, at least for now.
Just like in a picture show I know where I want to go This is not the place for me And I’m moving on
There are people that I know In the place I want to go I can be what I wanna be I hope I’m not wrong
I think it’s time for me to get my five minutes of fame When I get there everybody will be so glad that I came It won’t be so long before everyone knows my name Without a doubt we’ll talk about the Things I never ever thought I’d Find someone to talk to about
Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This just seems so right for me It’s like I’m already gone
All the people that I know Tell me where I need to go In a day or two or three Nothing will be wrong
I think it’s time to start again with a brand new life Leave behind some of a past that has been filled with strife Start a new family, two kids, a husband, and a wife I sold my car I’m going far to Start again beginning friendship With five minutes left to the end
Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This is not the place for me Goodbye, and so long
This was my third Song Fight! entry, and I was finally starting to get at least a semblance of a recording setup. At this point I’d bought a cheap 4-track tape deck and actually played the guitar part all the way through and sang everything each in one take.
It was still pretty awful and I was still learning how to do basically anything with acoustic recordings. But I was getting somewhere with it, at least.
In 2006 I started the Plus 5 project, where I decided to re-record all of my first-year Song Fight! entries on the fifth anniversary of their original due dates. I LOVE YOU and Repair My Heart both came out reasonably well (and those new versions were the conceptual basis for the versions on this album), but Shipwreck still came out pretty badly, and I started to think that the song itself was cursed.
For this album, I originally started out trying to do a better job of the Plus 5 version, but it still just plain wasn’t working. I was starting to wonder if I even wanted this song on this album to begin with, and like it was just irredeemably bad and not worth trying to save.
But then I had a realization: there’s nothing that says I had to stick to my plan from 2006. It’s my song, and my choice for how to do things, right?
So I changed the arrangement significantly, and decided to lean fully into the idea that it’s a song about desperate isolation.
I think it works.
It was a three-hour tour Looks like it’s gonna be more Now I’m stranded far from you And it looks like there’s nothing to do
I need someone to come Doesn’t matter where they are from I see a ship on the edge of my view And I’m hoping that it is you
Come on and rescue me I’m drowning, can’t you see that I Really need you all of the time so come Come on and rescue me
I am alone with nobody around It feels like I’ll never be found I have to hold on one more day To see if someone is coming my way
It was a three-hour tour Looks like it’s gonna be more Now I’m stranded far from you And I’m hoping that it is you
Come on and rescue me I’m drowning, can’t you see that I Really need you all of the time, so come Come on and rescue me
Come on and rescue me I’m begging for you to find me, and I Really need you all of the time, so come Come on and rescue me
I took a bit of a break from Song Fight!, because I was getting frustrated both with some of the aspects of the community, but also with how my missteps kept on causing me to activate interpersonal landmines.
I was trying so hard to be helpful but never stopped to think whether what I was doing was actually helpful.
And at the same time I had a lot of insecurity about my skills as a musician.
And at the same time I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do in terms of gender and transition and so on, and I was getting very little support from most of the people around me, especially folks in Song Fight!.
The term “nonbinary” didn’t exist as far as I’m aware in 2003, but that’s what part of this song is about: not feeling like I fit in to either category, and needing to be happy with just being me.
Life is like a riddle Stuck in the middle I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Not so bad but not so good I don’t do all the things that I should I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Everything I do makes it worse Just a speck in the universe Have I been such a fool A fool in the middle
People always put me down But they say they like having me around And that makes me a bitter fool A fool in the middle
One side pink and one side blue Purple’s gonna have to do People can be very cruel when you’re Stuck in the middle
Life is like a riddle Stuck in the middle I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Life is like a riddle Stuck in the middle I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Back in the late 90s I had a quite vivid dream about an impossible love that could not exist, and I wrote the first version of the lyrics for this song, and had a vague idea for the chords.
In either late December 2000 or early January 2001, I was visiting my parents during winter break from grad school and noticed that a bunch of my favorite webcomics were all part of what was called the Dumbrella collective. I decided to poke around on the main Dumbrella website, and I noticed a thing on it called “Song Fight!,” which was a songwriting contest where the person running it, Narbotic, would invite his friends to make songs for a single title, as a continuation from his own website where he’d take random title suggestions and make weird little songs for them.
There was also an announcement that the next title, Zero to Phantom, would be open to anyone to submit to the title.
I had absolutely no ideas for it.
But the next title to go up, I LOVE YOU, reminded me of the song I’d written a few years before, and I decided to dust it off. I figured that it’d make a perfect guitar song.
The problem is, I only barely knew a couple of chords, and I didn’t have a guitar. At this point nearly all of my music production had been weird chiptunes.
So I went to a pawn shop and paid too much for some broken and dusty piece of crap, and figured out a few more chords, and I didn’t have a pick so I sanded down a chunk of a broken CD-R to make one, and I tried to record the song.
Unfortunately, I did not know how to actually record live audio, and I didn’t have the finger strength or stamina to even play through the whole song anyway.
So, I sampled all of the chords I knew and a couple of little riffs, loaded them up into Impulse Tracker, and tried sequencing the chords together. Then I recorded my vocals and chopped them up into samples and loaded them up into Impulse Tracker too, and then kinda-sorta assembled things together.
At the time, I didn’t know how to sing, either. I also hadn’t worked out the rhythm of the vocals and just kind of figured it out as I went.
The song was an absolute mess. But I submitted it to Song Fight! anyway, and the reaction was… adequate enough that it inspired me to keep going, and this started my process of slowly building up a bunch of skills for songwriting, guitar playing, recording, singing, and so much more.
This isn’t the first song I ever wrote, but it is ultimately the one that started me on my journey as a musician.
The sun comes right up And there’s nothing I can do But state my mind, recite my point of view
It warms up my hair Passes behind a cloud I’m sitting here, thinking here of you
It shines in my eyes Like a beautiful swirl It blows my mind, and trembles in my view
I cannot think Of anyone in this world I’d rather spend my whole life with than you
I cannot believe Our love could go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
I take a deep breath Let it out real slow The air is warm and smells of sweetened dew
It warms up my head I can see it now I’m sitting here, madly loving you
The world closes in Everything’s a blur I’m feeling dizzy, look around for you
I can’t help but think This must have been a dream Because you are nowhere within my view
I could not believe Our love would go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
I’d like to be with you
#CD #SongFight #Vinyl #Popular #ChamberPop #Classical #IndiePop #Instrumental #Lyrical ]]>I make a lot of music for things. Some of it ends up being used, some of it doesn’t. Much of it deserves to be heard anyway.
Some of the things that this music was originally made for:
Are you interested in having music like this in your project? Drop me a line, or see my commissions page.
Background music for an informational video welcoming visitors to the Trans Academy.
The video this was for was intended to be an overview of the Trans Academy and what it does, with several different motifs to indicate the different aspects of the world and community. The video’s scope had to be pulled back somewhat, but this became the basis of the overall musical design and audio logos I developed for the Academy going forward. You will hear the Academy themes and motifs in several of the other songs on this album.
Prototype battle theme made for an abandoned, untitled Pokémon fangame.
I ended up using this in one of my own games, although it was basically a last-minute shitpost meant specifically to have something that actually used the music in it.
A soundtrack done for a seasons greetings video for the Trans Academy.
This was done as a stylistic riff on the front half of “Linus and Lucy” by Vince Guaraldi, with a Motown-inspired jazz sound (and an anachronistic touch of disco, as has been my tendency lately).
Main menu music from Spooky Sushi, a VR game jam game.
In this track I decided to play with the idea of having the same simple looping melody that repeats while being recontextualized by the changing chords underneath it.
The composite soundtrack for Magnolia’s Early Morning Walk, a short game done for a game jam.
The different sections of this piece are the short looping motifs for the various scenes in the intended game, with different emotional variations on two overall themes that represent the protagonist’s state of mind.
This is another track that I composed Just Because. I was treading on the edge of consciousness and then this just popped into my head. I tend to write a lot of my music that way.
Diana’s character theme song from Full Course.
Diana was meant to be a very posh, aristocratic person with refined tastes, and this is the music that popped into my head based on that description.
Sometimes I compose music just for the heck of it. This is one of those songs that just kinda popped into my head and I had to make it.
Music made for the obligatory underwater level of an abandoned game jam prototype.
There are a few game jams where I regularly sign up to make a lot of music for others, and usually err on the side of making too much because more often than not, the music I make ends up going unused in the jam itself. It’s always a little disappointing when that happens, but at least it gives me more music to release later.
Caroline’s date scene from Full Course.
The idea I had for Full Course’s soundtrack was that each character would have a musical theme and a style, and different situations would cause one theme to play in another one’s style. I had decided that the dating scenes would be in the style of cheezy lounge jazz.
I also had started a jazz version of “Water to Wine,” Morgan’s theme, to represent their inner thoughts when alone in the restaurant, and I planned on completing it for this album, but without the impetus of completing the game it felt a bit gratuitous.
Caroline’s character theme from Full Course.
Caroline was to have an interesting story arc, and was going to have two character theme songs because of one of her traits. This particular song is for her extrovert mode (“Candy”), and was inspired by modern anime music. Its working title was “Every Anime Themesong.”
She also had an introvert mode, “Strawberry,” although I never started work on that theme before the game was canceled.
The main theme from Full Course, a canceled visual novel project.
In this game you would have played Morgan, a young adult who experiences multiple mental health challenges, and also “sees” other people as various foods befitting their personalities. This theme song is also Morgan’s theme, and was going to have several variations based on different moods and situations.
Prototype battle theme made for an abandoned, untitled Pokémon fangame.
If I had a nickel for every time someone wanted me to make battle theme music for a Pokémon fan game for a game jam and then disappeared on me without apparently having even started to make the game, I’d have ten cents, which isn’t a lot of money, but it’s annoying that it happened twice.
A looping background motif for an augmented art installation.
I composed a prototype of this while playing with a Sawbench, a minimal MIDI-controlled analog synthesizer, and eventually repurposed it for the art piece, making it a bit more ambient in the process.
People keep comparing it to Boards of Canada, which seems like a band I need to actually listen to someday.
A lo-fi background music track for a series of videos by the Trans Academy.
This is the primary “logo” motif of the Trans Academy, with my favorite gimmick of using an evolving chord progression to recontextualize the simple motif in different ways.
An alternate soundtrack for Magnolia’s Early Morning Walk.
This was done as a prototype while trying to figure out the right mood for the game, and was not going to be used in the game itself as it didn’t end up fitting the vibe. I still like it, though.
The screeching “synth” sound for the second half (the “walkies” section) is a guitar whose strings are being excited by electromagnetic coupling with an eBow. It’s a great sound and I don’t get to use it in my music very much.
An extended/enhanced version of the battle theme from Deck of Desire, an extremely NSFW card trading game.
In the original game there was a much shorter version of this song, in both chiptune and symphonic versions, as well as a bunch of other music. The game itself has been essentially abandoned as a “prototype” (despite having been very popular, and still tops my download analytics on itch.io years later!), but I had some ideas about how to expand the soundtrack into a full musical experience.
Maybe someday.
Paige’s character theme song from Full Course.
The request for Paige’s theme from the game’s creator was that it should be “That Distant Shore” from Steven Universe, which I took to mean being a nice gentle bossa nova tune where you can relax while swaying in the breeze.
Gameplay music from Spooky Sushi, a VR game jam game.
In this game you play the part of a conveyor sushi restaurant waiter, and must quickly tally up the bill for patrons based on the colors of their plates. I was trying to evoke the feeling of having to juggle several things at once while being simultaneously single-minded about it.
#CD #GameJams #GamesMadeQuick #OST #Disco #Rock #Instrumental ]]>Music made for the 8th Strawberry Jam game jam.
This is one of the soundtracks from Bouncing Bazoingas, a silly game about bouncing things into holes.
This is one of the soundtracks from Bouncing Bazoingas, a silly game about bouncing things into holes.
#GameJams #OST #StrawberryJam #LoFi #Instrumental ]]>Usually I do a whole album in a month for Novembeat but this year I was dealing with some annoying physical and mental health issues so I took it easy this time around and just made some small video game soundtracks. But what happens, happens, and some music is better than no music.
Also I’m not pretending to be a whole band this time. Sorry for breaking the illusion. It’s just me.
This is the background music from Snack Stacker.
A preparation song from the game Pawmune
#CD #GameJams #Novembeat #OST #SeattleIndiesSlowJam #Classical #Folk #Jazz #Instrumental ]]>Music made for some game jam games among other things.
Soundtrack for a game jam game
An attempt at making a bunch of background music for video games that may or may not exist.
These are available as loopable game assets
OST for a game done for Global Game Jam 2022.
Novembeat is an annual song-a-day challenge where folks from around the world are encouraged to make something musical every day in November.
For 2021’s Novembeat, Sockpuppet decided to stick to a theme: songs that capture the feeling of various coffee grinders.
For much of the month, the band was displaced from their recording studio due to a plumbing emergency, so they were only able to produce around an hour of music over 17 tracks, instead of the original planned two-hour epic coffee journey. It’s probably for the best, since there’s only so many feelings that coffee grinders can evoke.
Many of the tracks from this were also used in the game Hallowed Grounds, which was developed alongside the recording of this album.
My fifth annual song-a-day expression for Novembeat.
You don’t go places that you used to You don’t enjoy the stories that you’re used to You can’t stand anyone you’re introduced to Sitting home alone is what you’ve been reduced to
Something happened long ago inside you Now it’s back, your life won’t be the same All of the signposts that used to guide you Got pulled up by something, don’t know when it came
But change is coming It’s funny and it’s faint Yes change is coming With noses thumbing Oh, change it is coming The running refrain So humming and strange Our upcoming change
Your friends they act like they don’t recognize you And all these parts they say now that comprise you They preferred the skin that once disguised you So hard to shake the thought, that they all now despise you
But change is coming It’s funny and it’s faint Yes, change is coming With noses thumbing, oh Change it is coming The running refrain So humming and strange Our upcoming change
The you that you are now’s the only you you are You can’t go back to who you once were before Got no choice, you gotta be true to who you are Genie won’t go back inside that bottle any more
Yes change, change is coming It’s funny and still faint More change, change is coming So I’m succumbing to What you’re becoming like an Oncoming train It’s humming and strange This upcoming change
We just don’t know If it’s gonna be all right We cannot know When it’ll be all right We gotta know That it’ll be alright I just don’t know When it’ll be all right
When it’ll be all right
We’re gonna know When it’ll be all right We’re gonna show When everything’s alright Don’t know where to go When everything’s alright But we’re gonna know That it’ll be alright
It’ll be all right
Music courtesy of the itty bitty ditty committee.
Don’t let the door hit you on your way out We all know you are going to just scream and shout Take it back to Twitter with your remaining clout, don’t let the door hit you on your way out
At least half of the nation is so sick of you You are so much worse than the “just a flu” Nobody cares what you’re going to do, don’t let the door hit you on your way out
The past four years have been a tragedy And we have a long way to go we can all see To get a better world for you and me Well maybe not for you
Don’t let the door hit you on your way out We’re better off without you without a doubt Twitter says they’ll ban you so just quietly pout, and let the door hit you on your way out
As is tradition I tried to record one short song every day in November. I didn’t get every day this year and some of the tracks really sucked but a lot of them were a lot higher-effort than usual for Novembeat so I’m satisfied enough I guess.
binaural microphone experiment
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
I don’t know what I’m saying But I’ll say it to you
The Song Fight! version of Lumetri
try me you want to fall to sleep try me i’m better than counting sheep
try me you’ll finally rest at last try me don’t think about the past
try me it’s time to tuck you in try me you’ll be asleep again
what it says on the tin
smooshing keys until something interesting comes out
I needed a new outgoing voicemail message
[dial tone] [DTMF tones spelling out NOVEMBEAT#]
I can’t take your call right now Or I’m not picking up anyhow I will try to get back to you If you leave a message at the beep
I can’t take your call right now Or I’m not picking up anyhow I will try to get back to you If you leave a message at the beep
I can’t take your call right now Or I’m not picking up anyhow I will try to get back to you If you leave a message at the beep But I’d rather text
A song I wrote while waiting for the bus
it’s a bit long innit
an ode to what keeps me functional
i don’t know what i’m doing
this is problematic and appropriative
more garage than garage
like something from a vidya game
It all goes downhill from here
I don’t know what I’m doing But I’ll do it to you
images of childhood
A song done to celebrate the birthday of my friend Heather “moboid” Kelley.
Specific works referenced:
What’s going on there is nothing to do Everything I have makes me think of you What’s on the TV please give me a clue Maybe I’ll try to find something that’s new So I try to play a game But they’re all just all the same
Throw me some blocks flying through outer space Wearing a helmet that’s strapped to my face Something artistic, something with grace Something experimental that takes place In a world I call my own Makes me feel at home
I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game
I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game
Experiment with all the feelings inside Help me to find something i can provide Give me ideas, try not to hide from the Animals concrete the organs implied (I wanna pet the rabbit) (please help me pet the rabbit)
Look around corners that no-one could see Making a difference quite expressively Craving rapport as we drift to the sea What are we saying, let’s talk about me, ‘cause I’m Valid and I’m proud Quiet scream out loud
I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game
I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game
Falling down through space Make friends with a place Keeping a straight face Save the human race
I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game
I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game
I think that I’ll play that game I think that I’ll play that game
I think that I’ll make a game I think that I’ll make a game
Sort of a fitting conclusion to the month I guess
another video game soundtrack in my head
#Novembeat #SongFight #Instrumental #Lyrical ]]>in 2018 i tried to do my usual thing but i got busy and only made it halfway
A sort of sequel to Pawn Shop Bunny.
i don’t know what your problem is but i think you might be right no i don’t know what your problem is but i think you might be right
Songs composed for games entered into the Strawberry Jam 3 game jam on itch.io, which is NSFW so keep that in mind when you look for it.
This is from a visual novel where you’re supposed to date various bugs or something. I wasn’t quite clear on it and unfortunately the project never got very far. Oh well.
Ludum Dare is a regular game jam event. The 41st installment had a theme of “Combine two incompatible genres.” During this jam I worked with a team to make “Brickris Tetout,” which was a mashup of Tetris with a blockbreaker game (such as Breakout or Arkanoid).
For the soundtrack I made two different and complementary takes on Korobeiniki that mix together seamlessly as the game progresses.
The best way to listen to the soundtrack is by playing the game, but you can hear the constituent parts here as well.
October has Inktober, where artists are challenged to draw one ink drawing every day throughout the month.
November, therefore, has Novembeat, making one short song every day.
This is the second such album I have done, and I feel that it is some of the best music I’ve ever made. It also follows the emotional arc of the month, due to some rather unexpected setbacks.
Think of it as a musical diary spanning one month in a not so great year.
I really liked Stranger Things, or at least its soundtrack.
It was cold out and my leg was hurting and I had a cat sleeping on my lap, so I decided to have some fun with a sonic soundscape that captured the feelings of winter cuddles.
The dark days were getting to me.
The depression was getting to me.
On Black Friday weekend I upgraded to KOMPLETE 11 and decided to play around with some of its presets.
This came out.
I started composing a tango song but it just wasn’t coming out very well. So I scrapped it and worked on a second take for the day.
The pain from the previous four days turned out to be due to a clot in my leg that was growing rapidly, and part of it broke off and went to my lungs, giving me a pulmonary embolism. Because of the clot I had to cease taking my HRT and start taking blood thinners. I was told I may not be able to get back on HRT ever again.
I was happy to still be alive but not looking forward to the impending hormonal crisis.
But I am still around, and defiantly making music.
My leg was hurting even more and my other cat wanted to get in on the action, so she wrote a song with me.
At this point I was just completely falling apart, due to basically going through menopause and feeling worthless, useless, and futureless.
I had been without hormones for a week and a half and my emotions were all over the place. Everything would set me off and I would cry and I was not in a good spot. So I wrote this thing to capture my feelings.
Without HRT I was losing track of time and my mental state, and every day was running into each other. I wanted to be kind to myself after my near-death experience but I also wanted to be productive. And everything felt the same as everything else.
I attempted to self-medicate my ongoing depression with some THC.
I may have used a little too much.
Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet (Internet) Hello, the Internet (Internet) Hello, the INternet (INternet) Hello, the Internet (Internet) Hello, the Internet (Internet?) Hello, the Internet (Internet!) Hello, the Internet (Internet…) Hello
I had trouble sleeping due to the increasing pain, and this music wafted into my consciousness.
I was spending way, way too much time reading Twitter instead of doing anything productive. The senseless repetitive noise of everything around me was more than I could take.
This is a song about a pawn shop bunny
going around as if it’s made of money
trying to buy some milk and honey
but it doesn’t quite care.
Just a little introduction to the album.
I woke up barely able to breathe, and went to the hospital.
It was an embolism, from a DVT in my leg that threw off a clot.
I composed this track from a hospital bed, using GarageBand on my phone.
A little scrap I had lying around, which was begging for a fuller orchestration.
It seems like every album of mine these days needs at least one semi-algorithmically-generated weird-time-signature experimentation.
And Werner just wouldn’t shut the heck up while I made it so I decided to record him meowing.
Oh and there’s scissors for percussion.
The first song I wrote on this day was not very good, but then I was noodling around and came up with this better song. It made me think of a wood elf in a forest grove or something.
The lack of hormones was really starting to get to me. Constantly tired, constantly struggling to wake up in the morning, but this music project kept me going.
Shout out to the Cupcake Royale in Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA, and the restroom cooling fan that was making this really cool grinding noise.
(It has since been fixed.)
This day didn’t go so well, so I was looking forward to a better one.
feeling like drowning, no escape
Met up with some friends at a coffee shop, took up way too much table space while I composed this attempt at making something Lemon Jelly-esque.
I was feeling aimless from my recent health issues, and felt like nothing was going anywhere and nothing was worth doing anymore.
I decided to make some disorganized fun.
My leg was still hurting. Really, really bad. And I was starting to have a pain in my shoulder as well. The pain was getting to be unbearable. So I wrote this track that captured the agony I was in.
Just a little tune that popped into my head that morning.
Ga ga dabba gagabagada baga Da ba baga dadabagada bada Ba ba bada bagagabada baga Ya ba bada yabadabada baga Ba ba baga dababadaba bada Bum ba bada bagagabada bada
Bum bum bum, ba Bum bum bum, ba Bum bum bum, ba Bum bum bum, ba Dum ba bum, ba Dum ba bum, ba Dum bum bum, ba Dum bum bum
I took a little trip down to my platonic cuddle-buddy’s home and I composed this while lying on his lap. It was nice.
Back in the early days of Song Fight! there was an occasional contributor who entered under the name Mouth Reliant. I felt like doing a tribute to his style for some reason.
I didn’t have the energy to clean my home but I made a piano-and-cello tune to help me clean myself, at least.
Pachelbel’s Canon is the bane of every cellist’s existence.
Inspired by the name of the previous track, I decided to go on a spelling spree.
The notes of the musical scale can spell words.
Not very many, though.
dead cabbage dead cabbage dead-ead, dea bae d dead (dead) cabbage dead-ead, ea bae d dead cabbage dead cabbage dead
#CD #Novembeat #Soundtrack #Instrumental #Lyrical ]]>Throughout November 2016 I recorded one short song every day. Because why not.
I went downtown to buy me a stapler So I could put together a couple pieces of paper Office Depot was shutting down They had all the best deals in town For the low, low price of 27 bucks I got a bunch of stuff, who cares if it sucks Anyway I completed my task, it Is great they even let me keep the shopping basket
He actually said “proggy as fuck” but I didn’t want this song to get marked explicit on the streaming services.
Soundtrack done in a weekend, for a game done in a weekend.
For Global Game Jam 2016 I decided to spend all weekend making as much music and sound effects as I could. Here are the resulting musical tracks. Some of them are even kind of okay!
The pitch from the game’s creator:
Landlord Simulator is a game about being the landlord of an apartment. Every tenant is adamant about their particularities and rituals, and when they’re overly stressed about these obsessions not being fulfilled (e.g. neat freak seeing a mess, guy sees toilet paper roll facing in instead of out) they would go on a tantrum, break a bunch of things, and then leave. The tenant is then immediately replaced and your apartment rating drops a star.
Given an environment predisposed to chaos, I’d like a touch of irony with some very homely music. Almost to corporate muzak territory. This is a wonderful 3.5br/8ba to live in, after all.
Omnia sonat satanica Dum cantatur Latine Lucifer adduxerunt nobis lucem miseratiónum
(Everything sounds satanic when it is sung in Latin. Lucifer brought us the light.)
#GameJams #GlobalGameJam #OST #Instrumental #Lyrical ]]>