For quite a while I had been working on an album called Transitions, in which I was rerecording some of my oldest Song Fight! songs now that I sorta know what I’m doing. While doing this I decided to also do a second companion album, Deadnames, in which I would provide remastered versions of the original recordings.
I came to realize that a bunch of the songs that I was planning wouldn’t really fit Transitions, and that their original recordings didn’t really fit with Deadnames either — but those songs were still overdue to be released, and gosh darnit, I’d already gone through the effort to remaster them! One song in particular really wanted to be released in its original version as a single, and I came to realize that all six of those misfit songs could instead go on their own little EP. So I gave them a bit more love than a simple remaster.
The result: Here’s Notions, an EP in which one particularly silly song is joined by five other particularly silly songs. I hope you enjoy it.
Originally for Song Fight!, 2006
Back before the iPhone came out there were a bunch of early smartphones which were all pretty bad. This song was inspired by one of them in particular, and about how technology can be pretty awful and self-serving. I don’t think things have really improved all that much since then, putting it mildly.
For this one I decided to do a “collaboration” of sorts between Sockpuppet and <3.
(<3) I am not in love It is not what I am thinking of But my life is needing something more Somebody that I can care for
The morning is alright But by the time that it becomes night I don’t know what to do My empty nest is making me feel blue
(fluffy) Hey, sister, I got what you need It’s a robot baby that you don’t need to feed You just plug it in every night And it also doubles as a convenient light
It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries And inside the box is another surprise It’s a diet pill that’ll make your hair long And the side effect is that you’ll break into song
(<3) I waited my four to six weeks But by the time it was getting bleak A package it came for me I plug it in, but then what I see
When I try to sleep it glows This is something that must too lay low I am getting annoyed At this silly malfunctioning android
(fluffy) That’s not covered by the warranty But we’ll sell you one for an additional fee The product went through a focus group And what everyone wanted was a big feature soup
You can’t expect everything to work right Our scientists made it overnight Just be glad you got it in only one piece Try our other product, a robotic niece
(<3) This is such crap, I am sending it back Everything you make is so totally wack And the diet pill had the opposite effect I now weigh fifty pounds, but my song is in check
I do not think you went to the FDA I will sue you all and make you all pay To get the address I call the support line In Indonesia on my very own dime
(Jane Barbe) The number you have reached Is not in service Please check the number And dial again
(<3) Oh, fuck…
Originally for Circle of Titles, 2020
One of the other Song Fight! traditions is Circle of Titles, where we provide titles for each other to write songs for in a one-on-one way. In 2020 I got this lovely title from T.C. Elliott (known better as Pigfarmer Jr. on Song Fight!) and decided to write a song that was inspired by another friend’s manic episode from their untreated bipolar disorder.
I haven’t spoken to them in a while, and I hope they’re doing okay.
(The bipolar friend, I mean. T.C.’s doing fine.)
Wait Wait right here There’s something I have to tell you Wait Wait right here It is a thing I think you know too well Wait Wait right here There’s something I have to show you Wait It’s oh so clear I can’t hear the ringing of the bell
Wait Wait right here There’s something I’ve only realized now Wait It’s so clear I think we all need our own real space, oh Wait Wait right here I’m trying to find a proper way, how Wait It’s so dear The world can be a big beautiful place
I can’t hear the image that you’re saying I can’t hear, I wish I knew you well I can’t hear the image that you’re singing to me I can’t hear, I know you wish me well
Wait Wait right here There’s something I have to show you Wait Wait right here It’s time for me to have my show and tell, oh Wait Wait right here Remember the thing that I tried to tell you Wait Wait right here Of all the people I’m wishing you well, so Wait
Originally for Song Fight!, 2024
Song Fight! has been running for a long time; it started in 2000, making it an extremely old website by today’s standards, and it’s probably one of the first and is almost certainly now the longest-running songwriting communities on the Internet.
In 2024, the 1000th title was posted, “A Grand Parade,” and for this we all decided to dig up as many past participants as possible to try to get to 100 songs. We succeeded at this!
At one point I was entering under an alter-ego, <3, a vessel through which I was trying to express some gender-related stuff, and she was pretty popular. So for A Grand Parade I opted to bring her back for another song.
I do not want you going outside right now There are so many things to see It’s going to overwhelm and how You will not be very happy
The giant duck is gonna quack And the dogs are gonna bark in back And the Marshall of the big parade Doesn’t care if you feel safe
And the TV man is gonna say It is such a lovely sunny day And I know you want to go out and play But I want you to say inside
I do not want you going outside right now There are so many things to see Why not stay inside and meow? I just want you to be happy
The clowns will juggle and the bands will play And the noise will scare you far away So let’s stay cozy all the day Inside where we are safe
I do not think you will want to be Outside out there away from me So let’s just drink a cup of tea In the morning we will play
I do not want you going outside right now There are so many things to see I am feeling overwhelmed and I just want to be happy
Originally for Song Fight!, 2022
This title went up when the Roe v. Wade reversal took place, and was a reference to the material change in constitutional law that had just taken place. Plenty of other people wrote songs about politics, so I felt okay with taking the title a bit more literally.
This song is dedicated to my friend Beltrami, who is featured alongside me in the cover art. May we someday cross paths in this reality, too.
Reupholster me into leather or pleather Make me watertight for every kind of weather Wouldn’t I be nice made of plush or of ice You have my permission, don’t have to ask twice
Take me apart and use me as a toy Make my only purpose to bring people joy Polish me up and make me shiny and clean I’m your willing servant, please be my new queen
Once was a human long ago But now this is all that I know Every change brings an afterglow What a wonderful way to go
Look me in the eyes and turn me into stone Chisel me down and sit on me as a throne Make this second skin someplace I can begin Reshape me into something with a dorsal fin
Carve me out of wood, make me a work of art Paint me with pictures of my old broken heart Please do not forget what I used to be And please don’t forget to always love me
Once was a human long ago But now this is all that I know Every change brings an afterglow What a wonderful way to go
Reupholster me it would bring me such pleasure Make me into a pooltoy for bright sunny weather Wear me like a costume so that you can be me Make all of my decisions so I can be free
You took me apart and used me as a toy I can’t remember if I was a girl or boy Please do not forget what I used to be And please don’t forget to always love me
Once was a human long ago But now this is all that I know Every change brings an afterglow What a wonderful way to go Oh woh
Originally for Song Fight! Live in Madison, Wisconsin, 2019
Song Fight! is a weekly-ish songwriting contest where a title is provided for everyone to write a song to. People write songs, they’re put up for a vote, somebody wins, and it’s all just a pretty good time overall.
Once a year we try to get together and do a little in-person concert where we get up on stage and perform our songs together. And part of Song Fight! Live involves a “live fight” where we’re given a title to write a song for and debut at the show.
In 2019 we went to Madison, Wisconsin, and the live fight title was The Supper Club. I was having Thoughts about Song Fight! at the time and decided to write a song about how Song Fight! as a community is a place where you should feel comfortable to express yourself in whatever way makes you most comfortable. I don’t know if anyone got that message from the song but it’s something I feel deeply all the same.
A place where you belong, a place to sing a song Welcome to the supper club Everyone is nice, giving you advice Every night at the supper club
We take you as you are, whether near or far Just come on down on in to the supper club No-one needs your name, we’re always glad you came All are welcome at the supper club
Be the way that you want to be Comfort is what sets you free We’re your friends and your family All night long at the supper club
We’re happy when you’re glad, saddest when you’re sad Please join us at the supper club Precious fish to fry, reminder of days gone by Every Friday at the supper club
We relish when you’re here, love when you drink our beer Please relax at the supper club Have a drink or three, connecting you and me The rest of your life at the supper club
Be the way that you want to be Comfort is what sets us free We’re your friends and your family All night long at the supper club
A place where you belong, a place to sing a song Welcome to the supper club We love you through and through, it’s something old and new Please enjoy the supper club We love you at the supper club
Originally for Song Fight!, 2010
This was a dumb idea I had right before the deadline and the original recording took me about 5 minutes to do, including composing it and writing the lyrics.
This version took me a little longer to do.
Open up your door Open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door (Open up!) Open up your door (Please open!) Open up your door (Could you open the door please?) Please open up your door (I know you’re in there!)
Open up your door (I can see the light on through the window) Please open up your door (Could you please open the door?) Open up your door (The door, you should open it!) Please open up your door (I know you’re in there!)
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door I need to use your bathroom
#CD #SongFight #Vinyl #Popular #Dance #Electropop #LoungeJazz #Rock #Lyrical ]]>I look in your window and nobody’s there last night you told me you’d be doing your hair
I really do think if we’re going somewhere We should be honest About the feelings we share
but you tell another story or you tell another lie it is doing nothing for me i don’t know why you even try
I’m so very sorry I hope you are fine I worry about you Getting sick all the time
So I have to wonder Just give me a clue How you were out with friends While sick with the flu
and you tell another story and you tell another lie it is doing nothing for me i don’t know why you even try
I don’t want to hear it How your mother just died This isn’t the first time That you have outright lied
I know what you’re saying Isn’t honestly true Or did you believe the person I paid to tell you?
but you tell another story or you tell another lie it is doing nothing for me i don’t know why you even try
and you tell another story and you tell another lie i know you really abhor me i don’t know why you even try
I dreamt I was a husky in my youth It was very odd to be so uncouth I would run around with nowhere to go But to slip and slide in the frozen snow
All I did for every day was run around And try not to fall down upon the frozen ground Not caring what was a lie and what was truth I dreamt I was a husky in my youth
The world faded and changed until it was light Everything was simple and was such a sight An outline around everything that I could see And colors were simply not quite ordinary
I dreamt I was a husky in my youth Starring in a film by Donald Bluth The evil businessman tried to capture me After he ate the yellow snow I made for free
The movie went on and on It was two hours long Snow was everywhere In the yard and in my hair
As a child I did not like dogs very much They were always wet and messy to my touch So when I dreamt I was a husky youth I woke up in my bed needing to see the truth
I found I had changed overnight Into a husky pup much to my fright Just like in the dream I had fur and claws And little black pads on my four paws
I did not know how this change could be But then a joyous calm washed over me I could smell what was a lie and what was truth I dreamt I was a husky in my youth
It’s the last day on Earth I know Everything is coming down We run it to the ground I think we need another take
We didn’t understand the snow Thought our troubles were gone Conclusions were withdrawn Life was just a big mistake
I think we need another take
I think we need some shelter We deserve this weather But we’re flying to the sun Everything’s undone
And we’re lying on the ground Swallowed up in the sound What we get is what we make I think we need another take
It’s the last day on Earth I know Everything is coming down We run it to the ground I think we need another take
Why do we all have to be tan? Different shades of a single master plan It is all so boring Baby I am snoring Why do we all have to be tan
Black and white and zebra stripes! Red and green would be so keen! Purple blues and other hues! These shades of tan just will not do!
If I were a genetic engineer I’d do what I could to bring it here Discrimination would be undone If everyone were the only one
Why do we all have to be tan And just a woman or a man Neither both or something in between I think that would be pretty keen but Everyone is just… tan
Paisley plaid and polka dot! Colors patterns are so hot! Sure we could all get tattoos But if I did it why would you?
If my idea were everyday Of course my plea would go away But other creatures can all have it So we’re unique on this planet?
Why do we all have to be tan? Different shades of a single master plan It is all so boring Baby I am snoring, oh Why do we all have to be tan
So, there’s this pretty weird thing that happened to me recently. I was walking down the street, and this guy came up to me… he was wearing a blanket like a cloak, like he was some sort of wizard or something, but he smelled like pee and feces. I mean, that’s not the weird thing, that happens pretty much every day. But anyway he stepped in front of me and said, “Hey, you want a moscow?” I told him no and tried to keep going, but he kept on stepping in front of me, and he was all, “Come on, this moscow, it’s great.” And I noticed that he was holding this thing in his hands which looked like a clay cow, that was covered in, you know, that fuzzy plant, that looks like moss but isn’t. You know, that cheap sort of gift you get at the drug store for that person who you really want to make them aware that you like them but not enough to give a crap about what sort of gift you get them, right? Anyway, so this guy is trying to get me to take the terra-cotta cow and I just want to get home and he’s just saying, “Come on, man, take it. I gotta get rid of it, but I don’t wanna just throw it out,” and I said, “Fine,” and I took it, and then he just said, “Thanks!” and ran off really fast.
But that’s not really the weird part. So, I took this stupid thing home, and figured it would go okay next to my herb garden on my balcony, and so I thought I put it there, but when I went into the kitchen to fill up my watering can, the moscow was sitting next to the sink. Pretty weird, right? Anyway, I just watered it right there, and now… yeah, this is the really, really weird part. It actually turned its head at me – yeah, I know, right? – and it said “Idaho!”
Now of course this was really weird. I mean, not only was this little tchotchke talking, but you’d think that if a cow were to talk it’d say something like, “Moo.” I dunno, “Milk me.” Something like that. Right? But “Idaho?” So I asked, “Idaho?” And it said, “No, Idaho.”
So, I called this friend of mine and asked her to come over – she’s a biologist, I mean – and when she came by she asked what was so important. “Look,” I said, “I have this… this moscow.” And she said, “O…kay? It’s a cow, yeah?” “No, a moscow,” I said. “See, ‘coz it’s like, covered in moss, right?” And she said, “Yeah, I see those all the time. So?” And I said, “Well, this one talks.” She just kind of waited for me to say more, and I said, “WIth its mouth.” She looked at me funny and said, “You’re joking.” And I was like, “No, n–here, I’ll show you,” and I watered it again, and it said, “Idaho.”
So my friend was kind of weirded out too and she asked, “Idaho?” And then the moscow said, “No, Idaho. Youdaslut.”
Anyway, they’re best friends now.
See the little ants walking down the path They don’t know how to do anything they’re bad at math But a little tiny queen can make some more One and one make two, two and two make four
And then what happens next is the worlds collide When a little tiny ant finds the world inside And the little worker ants can all pass the test They all work together to bring everything back to the nest
And when someone finds out it doesn’t matter The little tiny ants have made their queen get fatter So she can lay her eggs all day So it doesn’t matter when the people get the spray
There are so many ants that they cannot die For every ant that’s in the house there’s two outside All that we can do is let them be Learn to love each other for the world to see
I feel safe without you I feel safe when I’m with you I feel safe when I’m near you But I don’t think that I need you
You know what it is like when you are alone Walking in the dark trying to get home Every little thing that can make a sound Scares you half to death and you look around
You cannot help but fear for your life What if somebody is there who has a knife But you know that in your heart you will be okay And that everything will let you live another day
When you get inside you look around Thousands of little black dots are on the ground They go on with life without a care Eating all the food that they find lying there
It is no matter what you do or say Nothing will make the ants ever go away The lesson that we learn is when the day is done The little tiny ants are the ones who have won
I feel safe without you I feel safe when I’m with you I feel safe when I’m near you But I don’t think that I need you
Wake up in the morning Before the alarm goes Trying to fall back to sleep Still in last night’s clothes Lying half awake, I still can’t get up when the beeping starts Why would I
Sleepwalk through the morning On the way to work That guy on the bicycle is Such a stupid jerk I think I should push him over Just to show him up But why would I
Sometimes it is very hard to keep yourself moving when it’s gone haywire
Monday morning meeting Going way too long Finished up my coffee but the coffee isn’t strong I feel like I need to sleep I need to keep moving but why would I
Tuesday PM meeting Life is way too short Everything I try to say cut off with a retort Why does this guy work here, he’s a jerk, here, I should shut him up why would I
Sometimes it is very hard to keep yourself moving when it’s all haywire
Oh, listen to me Think about the damage done How hard can it be Just to have a little fun
Wednesday morning dreary I get nothing done Thursday comes and Friday goes Still get nothing done I should reconsider my Career choice, find a new voice but Why would I
Sometimes it is very hard to keep yourself moving when it’s gone haywire
Put Cindy back on the bus She isn’t one of us I don’t care what you say She’s just gotta go away
Put Cindy back on the bus Don’t make such a stupid fuss Everything she did Everything she said Every way she messed us up
Put Cindy back on the bus Do it before I start to cuss Every way she hurt us bad Every way she made us mad Everything she did to fuck us up
Hey, driver! Hey driver take her away Hey, driver! Hey I got somethin’ to say Don’t let her talk to you, don’t let her say how she’s been wronged Don’t let her talk to you, don’t let her speak until you’re gone
Cindy needs to stay on that bus ‘Cause you know she ain’t one of us She won’t know a thing She won’t know a thing From now until she wakes up
Cindy needs to stay on that bus You really got to listen to us Everything she did Everything she said It’s either this or beat her up
Cindy needs to stay on that bus Please driver don’t make a fuss We paid for the trip There’s nothing wrong with it Please go before she can wake up
Hey, driver! Hey driver take her away Hey, driver! Hey I got somethin’ to say This guy don’t know a thing, this guy don’t know what’s going on This guy don’t know a thing, he don’t know why we need her gone (We NEED her gone!)
Put Cindy back on the bus She isn’t one of us Don’t care what you say, she’s gotta go away Put Cindy back on the bus
Relax, calm yourself, There’s nothing to be afraid of Relax, ease your mind The giant monster’s just in love
Nothing’s gonna change I know it might seem strange
Everything will be alright Everything will be alright Everything will be fine tonight Everything is always fine tonight
Nothing’s gonna change Nothing is so strange Relax, calm yourself He isn’t ever gonna hurt you Relax, ease your mind And if he does what could you do
Nothing’s gonna change The city’s gonna rearrange Nothing’s gonna change He’s here on a monster exchange
Relax, calm yourself There’s nothing to be afraid of Relax, calm yourself And show the monster all of your love
One hundred twenty miles per hour It sure is cold outside alone One hundred twenty miles away After an hour far from home
One hundred twenty miles between us Why did you have to hurt me so One hundred twenty miles and counting I’m sorry that I had to go
Why did you hurt me was it (turn around and glare) Something that I said (aware) I try and try (unfair)
Why did you hurt me why (turn around and stare) Did I have to leave Why do I have to love you (nowhere) ‘Till the day I die (prepare)
One hundred twenty miles per hour It is now time to move along One hundred twenty miles away From everything that was so wrong
One hundred twenty miles between us It is now crystal clear to me One hundred twenty miles and counting We simply were not meant to be
Why did I even put up with (turn around and glare) your stupidity Why did I bother with you (aware) Now I cannot see (unfair)
How could I let you lead me (catch me unaware) On so very long I hope to never miss you (we share) Now that you are gone (repair)
One hundred twenty miles per hour I’m sure to get away from you One hundred twenty miles away It has vastly improved my view
One hundred twenty miles between us I just don’t need you anymore One hundred twenty miles and counting Good riddance, don’t wait at the door
Thank you for your interest We hope you will be fine But we have decided Your candidacy is not on the line
Your permanent record states You were truant three times And then the incident Where you colored outside of the lines
Another record Of which we are aware A piece of gum that You placed in Miss Marshall’s hair
We know you are thinking It was so long ago But you were warned about Throwing a rock in a ball of snow
Your auditor noted GOOD BEHAVIOR for thirty years But we strongly believe Past actions will shape future careers
Due to these factors We’re sure you will agree Your best course of action A reeducation facility
This was a song composed when I had new neighbors moving in upstairs. They were loud all day, and then they were loud all night, and their bed was right over my computer.
Nice guys otherwise, though.
I think you ought to know I haven’t slept in days It seems I’m spending my time Wandering in a haze They say that patience is the opposite of sin But it’s wearing thin
When I close my eyes I Only see my fears This is the worst time I Remember in years Everything I know is In the rubbish bin I just cannot win
Everywhere I turn I Hear this thumping sound Even lying down I’m not on steady ground I hope that in a few days I’ll be sleeping in These walls are paper thin
#CD #SongFight #EDM #Electropop #IndiePop #Lyrical ]]>