These are some of my oldest songs, all but one of them written back when I first started writing songs with lyrics. They have been slightly polished and cleaned up and remastered, but are otherwise as they were originally released.
Some of these are outtakes from aborted album projects. I still had a ways to go before I was ready to release these songs properly. Sometimes things take a while to ferment.
This is basically a companion album to Transitions, in which most of these songs were finally redone for modern ears, in a way I’m finally happy with. The artwork, on the other hand, is a reference to my very first album.
The Bandcamp version of this album comes with complete liner notes that go into detail about more of my history.
This version triggers my tinnitus something fierce.
Just like in a picture show I know where I want to go This is not the place for me And I’m moving on
There are people that I know In the place I want to go I can be what I wanna be I hope I’m not wrong
I think it’s time for me to get my five minutes of fame When I get there everybody will be so glad that I came And it won’t be so long before everyone knows my name Without a doubt we’ll talk about the Things I never ever thought I’d Find someone to talk to about
Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go It just seems so right for me Like I’m already gone
All the people that I know Tell me where I need to go In a day or two or three Nothing will be wrong
It’s about time to start again with a brand new life Leave behind some of a past that has been filled with strife Start a new family, two kids, a husband, and a wife I sold my car I’m going far to Start again beginning friendship With five minutes left to the end
Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This is not the place for me Goodbye, and so long
The sun comes right up There’s nothing I can do But state my mind Recite my point of view
It warms up my hair Passes behind a cloud I’m sitting here Thinking here of you
It shines in my eyes Like a beautiful swirl It blows my mind Trembles in my view
I cannot think Of anyone in the world I’d rather spend my Whole life with than you
I cannot believe Our love could go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
I take a deep breath Let it out real slow The air is warm, and Smells of sweetened dew
It warms up my head I can see it now I’m sitting here Madly loving you
The world closes in Everything’s a blur I’m feeling dizzy Look around for you
I can’t help but think This must have been a dream Because you are nowhere Within my view
I could not believe Our love would go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
This is one of my first Song Fight! songs that I decided to try rerecording for an album, after I’d bought a cheap used four-track audio interface to try to improve my recording process.
It did not go well.
Okay, um… hello?
This program is a… h’LOooOOoo This program is a piece of shit But it came free with my, uh, USB audio… interface… thing… So I’m not complaining too much
Okay, okay
Let’s uh, try this again
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
Things aren’t always gonna go my way But tomorrow is another day You’re not helping me to feel very steady, though Alright, alright
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not feeling so steady Alright, alright
Please don’t try to cheer me up Yes I know I have enough coffee in my cup I get your point already Alright, alright
Your voice is getting me twisted up If you don’t stop… if you don’t stop talking I…
the fuck? Okay
Your voice is getting me twisted up
Damn it I can play this just fine when I’m not recording Yes I’m being “chatty”
Okay
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
Things aren’t always going to go my way But tomorrow is another day You’re not helping me to feel very steady, though Alright, alright
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not feeling so steady Alright, alright
Please don’t try to cheer me up Yes I know I have enough coffee in my cup I get your point already Alright, alright
Your voice is getting me twisted up If you don’t stop talking I am hanging up Your cheerfulness isn’t making me anymore Alright, alright
Don’t you even try To think that I Just need to have it pointed out that It… it’ll be alright
Metaphorically I I just wanna die Or at least have the world go away until I am alright
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
THANK YOU Hopefully it’ll save the whole fucking file this time Just, okay Just wanna make sure It’s gonna save the whole thing Okay
For this one I was feeling super lazy and just recorded the keyboard and vocals separately in one take, and then I ran the result through a rather overdriven compressor, because I’d heard that compressors were good for audio production and so I should do that.
Frankie Big Face did an amazing cover of this which is what eventually led to the Love and Monsters version, which I consider to be the definitive version of this song.
One hundred twenty miles per hour It sure is cold outside alone One hundred twenty miles away After an hour far from home
One hundred twenty miles between us Why did you have to hurt me so One hundred twenty miles and counting I’m sorry that I had to go
Why did you hurt me bad, I did not want to lose you Why did you have to leave, I try and try and try and try Why did you want to hurt me, was it something that I said Why do I have to love you, ‘til the day I die?
One hundred twenty miles per hour The distance is now getting large One hundred twenty miles away From you and your stupid garage
One hundred twenty miles between us It is all crystal clear to me One hundred twenty miles and counting We simply were not meant to be
Why did I even put up with your stupidity Why did I bother with you, now I cannot see How could I let you lead me on so very, very, very long I hope that I never miss you, now that you are gone
One hundred twenty miles per hour I’m sure to get away from you One hundred twenty miles away It has vastly improved my view
One hundred twenty miles between us I do not need you anymore One hundred twenty miles and counting Good riddance, don’t wait at the door
Just as with I LOVE YOU, the Transitions version of this song is basically the Plus 5 version, done somewhat more competently.
Yes, that’s a musical reference to Katamari Damacy.
(One, two, three four)
Life is like a riddle Stuck in the middle I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Not so bad but not so good I don’t do the things that I should I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Everything I do makes it worse Just a speck in the universe Have I been such a fool A fool in the middle
Everybody puts me down But they say they like having me around And that makes me a bitter fool A fool in the middle
One side pink and one side blue Purple’s gonna have to do People can be very cruel when you’re Stuck in the middle
Life is like a riddle Stuck in the middle I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
Life is like a riddle Stuck in the middle I have been such a fool A fool in the middle
I got your letter Addressed to me Don’t know why you sent it It’s such a mystery
You said you’re broken Trying to hide Asked me how I’m doing, said you’re Burning up inside
You tell a story A lover in the past You say you think this time will be different That we will last
I don’t need this kind of attention Please don’t show me your affection I don’t want you to always tell me How you think this is meant to be
Another letter You talk of dreams Seeing us together And everything’s serene
You tell a story How everything was wrong Until the day you met me, how I’m Wonderful and strong
I think you should know It’s hard on me The love you think you have is just a Cause of misery
I don’t need this kind of attention Please don’t show me your affection I don’t want you to always tell me How you think this is meant to be
Another letter The paper splattered red By the time I read this you think That you might be dead
You said you love me Why did I lead you on I’m pretty sure I didn’t want your Melancholy song
I call your lover She says you’re doing fine She told me that you said to tell me, “Please stay on the line”
I don’t need this kind of attention Please don’t show me your affection I don’t want you to always tell me How you think this is meant to be
You say you’re sorry For acting such a fool But can we still be friends if it would Not be cold and cruel
I say I’m sorry I never wanted you The image that you had of me was Anything but true
You say you’re sorry You hang your head in shame I’m sorry if you wanted me I just don’t feel the same
This is a version that I’d done for Plus 5. If it weren’t for the fact I’d already re-redone this song for Love and Monsters it’d have gone onto Transitions, so I figured I’d might as well put this version onto Deadnames for completeness’ sake.
This song, incidentally, was about the same breakup that Birds Of Our Own was sort of about.
One hundred twenty miles per hour It sure is cold outside alone One hundred twenty miles away After an hour far from home
One hundred twenty miles between us Why did you have to hurt me so One hundred twenty miles and counting I’m sorry that I had to go
Why did you hurt me was it (turn around and glare) Something that I said (aware) I try and try (unfair)
Why did you hurt me why (turn around and stare) Did I have to leave Why do I have to love you (nowhere) ‘Till the day I die (prepare)
One hundred twenty miles per hour It is now time to move along One hundred twenty miles away From everything that was so wrong
One hundred twenty miles between us It is now crystal clear to me One hundred twenty miles and counting We simply were not meant to be
Why did I even put up with (turn around and glare) your stupidity Why did I bother with you (aware) Now I cannot see (unfair)
How could I let you lead me (catch me unaware) On so very long I hope to never miss you (we share) Now that you are gone (repair)
One hundred twenty miles per hour I’m sure to get away from you One hundred twenty miles away It has vastly improved my view
One hundred twenty miles between us I just don’t need you anymore One hundred twenty miles and counting Good riddance, don’t wait at the door
In 2006 (after having settled on “Sockpuppet” as a band name), I decided to celebrate how far I’d come as a musician since I started doing Song Fight!, and started a project called Plus 5 where I’d remake my first year of Song Fight! songs and release them on the fifth anniversary of the original fight.
I didn’t get through the whole year before losing interest in the project, but due to the nature of this album, I decided that the Plus 5 versions should get remastered and re-released.
It’s funny how in 2006 I thought I’d completed a journey, when clearly I still had a long way to go. I still do, really, but this is at least a step in the right direction.
In any case, the ideas from this directly informed the version I did for Transitions.
The sun comes right up And there’s nothing I can do But state my mind Recite my point of view
It warms up my hair Passes behind a cloud I’m sitting here Thinking here of you
It shines in my eyes Like a beautiful swirl It blows my mind And trembles in my view
I cannot think Of anyone in this world I’d rather spend my Whole life with than you
I cannot believe Our love could go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
I take a deep breath Let it out real slow The air is warm, and Smells of sweetened dew
It warms up my head I can see it now I’m sitting here Madly loving you
The world closes in Everything’s a blur I’m feeling dizzy Look around for you
I can’t help but think This must have been a dream Because you are nowhere Within my view
I could not believe Our love would go askew I would rather think What it’s like (I’d like) to be with you
I’d like to be with you
Lazy jazz turns into screamy punk. While going through my archives I found out that I’d actually tried resuscitating this project for a few other albums and it never quite worked out then either. I have scrapped versions in foodsexsleep and in Songs of Substance. I’d forgotten all about that.
I always wanted a bird of my own My mother had one but it had flown Away when she opened the window To let it be free as she loved it so
She always said that it would be, “If you love someone you set them free” And I know that I would love it so And I would open the window
It’s always sad when one’s not good Being in a cage made of Norwegian wood I’d hope that someone would love me so Much as to open my window
I once had a man, or should I say He once had me for a single day I thought that he had loved me so But he would not open my window
I flew away in a single day He chased me but I ran away Back to a place that I could be Myself and by myself be free
I always wanted a bird of my own My mother had one but it had flown Away when she opened the window To let it be free as she loved it so
It was a three-hour tour Looks like it’s gonna be more Now I’m stranded far from you And it looks like there’s nothing to do
I need someone to come Doesn’t matter where they are from I see a ship on the edge of my view And I’m hoping that it is you
Come on and rescue me I’m drowning, can’t you see that I Really need you all of the time so come Come on and rescue me
I am alone with nobody around It feels like I’ll never be found I have to hold on one more day To see if someone is coming my way
It was a three-hour tour Looks like it’s gonna be more Now I’m stranded far from you And I’m hoping that it is you
Come on and rescue me I’m drowning, can’t you see that I Really need you all of the time, so come Come on and rescue me
Come on and rescue me I’m begging for you to find me, and I Really need you all of the time, so come Come on and rescue me
I always wanted a bird of my own My mother had one but it had flown Away when she opened the window To let it be free as she loved it so
She always said that it would be, “If you love someone you set them free” And I know that I would love it so And I would open the window
It’s always sad when one’s not good Being in a cage made of Norwegian wood I’d hope that someone would love me so Much as to open my window
Dooo doo doo dooo doo
I once had a man, or should I say He once had me for a single day I thought that he had loved me so But he would not open my window
I flew away in a single day He chased me but I ran away Back to a place that I could be Myself and by myself be free
I always wanted a bird of my own My mother had one but it had flown Away when she opened the window To let it be free as she loved it so
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Why did someone have to chase the clouds away I just don’t want to come outside and play I just want the rain to wash my tears away
Don’t want you coming here, try to change my mind You don’t know just how I feel, I feel I’m feeling fine You don’t know what it’s like, living in my brain It’s not the things you think that keep me in this pain
Today is just another sunny day Why don’t you go and chase some fucking clouds away I don’t want to come outside and play today I just want the rain to wash my tears away
I’m being eaten at from every fucking side They smack me down, want me to drown, and take me for a ride You want to make me think it isn’t them it’s me It will not work you fucking jerk, I know how it should be
Oh it’s just another sunny day I wish the clouds could come and stay, for that I pray Please just leave me alone and go away Don’t want to see you now, just leave me alone today
I know I seem I’m on the edge of something bad You scream and shout I’m “flipping out,” you’re just making me mad I’m the one who’s fine, it’s everyone else who’s insane But people suck, I’m out of luck, I just can’t play this game
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Please let me be, don’t bother me today I’m sick of you trying to chase my clouds away I just want you to go the fuck away
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Why did someone have to chase my clouds away I just don’t want to come outside and play I just want you to stay
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
Things aren’t always gonna go my way But tomorrow is just another day You’re not helping me to feel very steady though Alright, alright
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not f…eeling so steady Alright, alright
Please don’t try to cheer me up Yes I know I have enough coffee in my cup I— I get your point already Alright, alright
Your voice is getting me twisted up If you don’t stop talking I am hanging up Your cheerfulness isn’t making me feel anymore Alright, alright
Don’t you even try To think that I Just need to have it pointed out that It’ll be alright
Metaphorically I I just wanna die Or at least have the world go away until I am alright
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
I- I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you I will always try To live to see you die You know always that I I will always try I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you Don’t know what I’m going through You can’t see from my point of view You will be on my mind You won’t be hard to find
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you I will always try To live to see you die You know always that I I will always try I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you Don’t know what I’m going through You can’t see from my point of view You will be on my mind You won’t be hard to find
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you
The Plus 5 version of Shipwreck attempted to be a more highly-produced version of the original. It’s how I originally wanted to try to do the Transitions version as well, but the new version had other plans.
The outro of this version is intended to overemphasize the musical connection between Shipwreck and Fool in the Middle.
It was a three-hour tour Looks like it’s gonna be more Now I’m stranded far from you And it looks like there’s nothing to do
I need someone to come Doesn’t matter where they are from I see a ship on the edge of my view And I’m hoping that it is you
Come on and rescue me (life is like a riddle) I’m drowning, can’t you see that I (stuck in the middle) Really need you all of the time so come (I have been such a fool) Come on and rescue me (A fool in the middle)
I am alone with nobody around It feels like I’ll never be found I have to hold on one more day To see if someone is coming my way
It was a three-hour tour Looks like it’s gonna be more Now I’m stranded far from you And I’m hoping that it is you
Come on and rescue me (life is like a riddle) I’m drowning, can’t you see that I (stuck in the middle) Really need you all of the time, so come (I’ve been such a fool) Come on and rescue me (a fool in the middle)
Come on and rescue me (life is like a riddle) I’m begging for you to find me, and I (stuck in the middle) Really need you all of the time, so come (I’ve been such a fool) Come on and rescue me (a fool in the middle)
The Plus 5 version of Listen Close. For this version I just did it as introverted jazz and just left the angsty lyrics behind.
I didn’t update this one for Transitions because I don’t think the song says anything that needed to be said, and what few interesting musical things happen in it are better covered by the final version of Sunny Again.
This is the remade version of Stronger Than for Plus 5. I wasn’t able to do a full remaster as many of the Logic instruments no longer exist in the basic library and I didn’t have any bounce files that I could reuse, but oh well. This seems good enough.
I am stronger than you
I am stronger than you
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you I will always try To live to see you die You know always that I I will always try I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you Don’t know what I’m going through You can’t see from my point of view You will be on my mind You won’t be hard to find
I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you I will always try To live to see you die You know always that I I will always try I am stronger than you Not a thing to do When you cried I knew I am stronger than you Don’t know what I’m going through You can’t see from my point of view You will be on my mind You won’t be hard to find
I am stronger than you
This song is about me being super annoyed at the transphobia I was experiencing on the Song Fight! forums. I decided to turn it into a way-too-long jazz jam, which I mostly improvised in real-time (aside from the lyrics).
For the recording I used my Yamaha DD-50 drum machine for the backing track, and played my keyboard with the MIDI piped in through my SIDstation, and recorded both simultaneously while improvisationally changing the SIDstation’s patch and parameters.
I guess it’s okay. The “In a [time] or two or three” idea would eventually get reused for Five Minutes; this was basically a lyrical gimmick which I used to mean “eventually, hopefully soon, possibly never.”
It did eventually become the case that I have to sit down to pee, though.
Listen close, close to me I’m changing can’t you see In a year or two or three No one will recognize me
I know your point of view Knows not how this can be true But the demographics I skew Don’t care about what I do
Listen close, close to me This is not some malarkey I’m the door and you the key Please try to unlock me
You can see the way I move In every way I groove For you it would behoove Of this change to approve
Listen close, close to me I am changing, can’t you see In a year or two or three I’ll have to sit down to pee
I know your point of view Knows not what I’m going through But the demographics that I skew Don’t care about what I do
Listen close, close to me This is not some malarkey I’m the door and you the key Please unlock me Unlock me Unlock me Unlock meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Eeeeeeeee
[7 minutes of aimless jamming later…]
Listen close, close to me This is not some malarkey I’m the door and you the key Please try to unlock me
Listen close, close to me I’m changing, can’t you see In a year or two or three No one will recognize me
Listen
This was my second attempt at recording this song for an album.
It did not go well.
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
Things aren’t always gonna go my way But tomorrow is just another day You’re not helping me to feel very steady though Alright, alright
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not feeling so steady Alright, alright
Please don’t try to cheer me up Yes I know I have enough coffee in my cup I get your point already Alright, alright
Your voice is getting me twisted up If you don’t stop talking I am hanging up Your cheer isn’t making me anymore Alright, alright
I get your point already No need to fight I’m just not feeling so steady Alright, alright
Don’t you even try To think that I Just need to have it pointed out that It’ll be alright
Metaphorically I I just wanna die Or at least have the world go away until I am alright
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
I know what you’re gonna say Today just must not be my day I get your point already Alright, alright
#CD #SongFight #LoFi #Origins #Instrumental #Lyrical ]]>October has Inktober, where artists are challenged to draw one ink drawing every day throughout the month.
November, therefore, has Novembeat, making one short song every day.
This is the second such album I have done, and I feel that it is some of the best music I’ve ever made. It also follows the emotional arc of the month, due to some rather unexpected setbacks.
Think of it as a musical diary spanning one month in a not so great year.
I really liked Stranger Things, or at least its soundtrack.
It was cold out and my leg was hurting and I had a cat sleeping on my lap, so I decided to have some fun with a sonic soundscape that captured the feelings of winter cuddles.
The dark days were getting to me.
The depression was getting to me.
On Black Friday weekend I upgraded to KOMPLETE 11 and decided to play around with some of its presets.
This came out.
I started composing a tango song but it just wasn’t coming out very well. So I scrapped it and worked on a second take for the day.
The pain from the previous four days turned out to be due to a clot in my leg that was growing rapidly, and part of it broke off and went to my lungs, giving me a pulmonary embolism. Because of the clot I had to cease taking my HRT and start taking blood thinners. I was told I may not be able to get back on HRT ever again.
I was happy to still be alive but not looking forward to the impending hormonal crisis.
But I am still around, and defiantly making music.
My leg was hurting even more and my other cat wanted to get in on the action, so she wrote a song with me.
At this point I was just completely falling apart, due to basically going through menopause and feeling worthless, useless, and futureless.
I had been without hormones for a week and a half and my emotions were all over the place. Everything would set me off and I would cry and I was not in a good spot. So I wrote this thing to capture my feelings.
Without HRT I was losing track of time and my mental state, and every day was running into each other. I wanted to be kind to myself after my near-death experience but I also wanted to be productive. And everything felt the same as everything else.
I attempted to self-medicate my ongoing depression with some THC.
I may have used a little too much.
Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet Hello, the Internet (Internet) Hello, the Internet (Internet) Hello, the INternet (INternet) Hello, the Internet (Internet) Hello, the Internet (Internet?) Hello, the Internet (Internet!) Hello, the Internet (Internet…) Hello
I had trouble sleeping due to the increasing pain, and this music wafted into my consciousness.
I was spending way, way too much time reading Twitter instead of doing anything productive. The senseless repetitive noise of everything around me was more than I could take.
This is a song about a pawn shop bunny
going around as if it’s made of money
trying to buy some milk and honey
but it doesn’t quite care.
Just a little introduction to the album.
I woke up barely able to breathe, and went to the hospital.
It was an embolism, from a DVT in my leg that threw off a clot.
I composed this track from a hospital bed, using GarageBand on my phone.
A little scrap I had lying around, which was begging for a fuller orchestration.
It seems like every album of mine these days needs at least one semi-algorithmically-generated weird-time-signature experimentation.
And Werner just wouldn’t shut the heck up while I made it so I decided to record him meowing.
Oh and there’s scissors for percussion.
The first song I wrote on this day was not very good, but then I was noodling around and came up with this better song. It made me think of a wood elf in a forest grove or something.
The lack of hormones was really starting to get to me. Constantly tired, constantly struggling to wake up in the morning, but this music project kept me going.
Shout out to the Cupcake Royale in Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA, and the restroom cooling fan that was making this really cool grinding noise.
(It has since been fixed.)
This day didn’t go so well, so I was looking forward to a better one.
feeling like drowning, no escape
Met up with some friends at a coffee shop, took up way too much table space while I composed this attempt at making something Lemon Jelly-esque.
I was feeling aimless from my recent health issues, and felt like nothing was going anywhere and nothing was worth doing anymore.
I decided to make some disorganized fun.
My leg was still hurting. Really, really bad. And I was starting to have a pain in my shoulder as well. The pain was getting to be unbearable. So I wrote this track that captured the agony I was in.
Just a little tune that popped into my head that morning.
Ga ga dabba gagabagada baga Da ba baga dadabagada bada Ba ba bada bagagabada baga Ya ba bada yabadabada baga Ba ba baga dababadaba bada Bum ba bada bagagabada bada
Bum bum bum, ba Bum bum bum, ba Bum bum bum, ba Bum bum bum, ba Dum ba bum, ba Dum ba bum, ba Dum bum bum, ba Dum bum bum
I took a little trip down to my platonic cuddle-buddy’s home and I composed this while lying on his lap. It was nice.
Back in the early days of Song Fight! there was an occasional contributor who entered under the name Mouth Reliant. I felt like doing a tribute to his style for some reason.
I didn’t have the energy to clean my home but I made a piano-and-cello tune to help me clean myself, at least.
Pachelbel’s Canon is the bane of every cellist’s existence.
Inspired by the name of the previous track, I decided to go on a spelling spree.
The notes of the musical scale can spell words.
Not very many, though.
dead cabbage dead cabbage dead-ead, dea bae d dead (dead) cabbage dead-ead, ea bae d dead cabbage dead cabbage dead
#CD #Novembeat #Soundtrack #Instrumental #Lyrical ]]>An unauthorized cover/remix of a couple of songs from the Undertale soundtrack.
goat mom :(