If The Supper Club was a love letter to Song Fight!, this one’s a Dear John.

In 2024, Song Fight! Live finally came back as an in-person event, after several years away due to the COVID-19 pandemic. When I arrived in Denver, though, I felt like I was only there out of obligation, and over the course of the next few days I felt like maybe I was done with Song Fight! for so many reasons. The community was a great way for me to get started as a songwriter, but it was starting to feel like I needed to pull back a bit and not be so emotionally-invested in it.

Over the next few days I had several good conversations with close friends in the community. They didn’t make me feel much better about Song Fight! itself (and in fact helped me to put words to some of the specific things I was feeling particularly bad about), but they did make me feel better about thinking it was time for me to move on.

I so was burned out and so frustrated at this thing that had been so important to me for so long, over half of my life at this point. The other music I’d been doing – small solo performances and scoring for video games and short films – was making me much happier than this ongoing thing, this community that used to bring me such joy.

So for the live fight title of “Valley Highway,” I decided to write a swan song.

But being up on stage, performing with friends, getting the reactions from folks about how much I’ve grown over the years and how much better we’ve all become for having participated in this ridiculous thing for so long? I started to feel a lot better.

I’m still not sure I want to be quite so involved in Song Fight! anymore, but at least I feel good about the time I’ve spent with it, and it’ll probably always be there for me when I need it.

Song Fight! has been so important to me, but it’s okay to move on.

Lyrics: Valley Highway

It is time for me to go Down this newly open road I am grateful for how I have Had some of the best times of my life

Looking to the setting sun Looking out for number one Half a life is better than Having never lived a life at all Stuffed inside a letterbox Regrets and things better left unsaid

Here we are In the valley of my dreams

Time to fly Try to live up to my means

I remain so grateful for some Of the best times of my life

Under stormy desert skies Where my former passion lies Chasing down a memory of Better times and times left yet to come Fix my broken wings right up Because it’s long past time for me to fly

Here we are On the highway to my dreams

Time to fly Try to live up to my means

I remain so grateful for some Of the best times of my life

I remain forever grateful For some of the best times of my life

It was August 2004. I had just moved to New York City in July, and I had dreams of establishing myself as a musician and also finally transitioning and being able to be myself.

Turns out that “myself” is still just super introverted and socially anxious, and places like New York wear me down faster than they build me up.

Anyway the bit about “start a new family” was inspired by a stupid cishet-normative ad for life insurance that was plastered all over the subway at the time, about a mediocre man wanting to start a family and have two kids. In my take on it in the lyrics I never actually specify which part of the family I’d be taking, and I like to think that I’m just some sort of random factor that leads to a family being started without any continuing involvement of my own. Or maybe I’m the family pet. Who knows. This song is about random nerve firings that were going through my brain while sitting lonely on the subway and feeling isolated, and not about my actual aspirations.

This song always sort of felt like it would be the pivotal moment in a semi-fictional musical about my life, and I guess that in the end, that’s kind of what this album as a whole is.

This song would also be the second-to-last Song Fight! song I entered under the “band” name “fluffy porcupine.”

New York was, also, not the place for me, and a few months after first recording Run Faster (which was about my job situation in New York), I would end up moving to Seattle, and it was time to reinvent myself again. I experimented with a few different band names before finally settling on “Sockpuppet,” a reference to how many other names I’d been operating under, and how I am one person presenting myself as an entire ensemble.

In effect, this song marked the ending of one chapter in my life, and the beginning of the next. But my story is still being written, at least for now.

Lyrics: Five Minutes

Just like in a picture show I know where I want to go This is not the place for me And I’m moving on

There are people that I know In the place I want to go I can be what I wanna be I hope I’m not wrong

I think it’s time for me to get my five minutes of fame When I get there everybody will be so glad that I came It won’t be so long before everyone knows my name Without a doubt we’ll talk about the Things I never ever thought I’d Find someone to talk to about

Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This just seems so right for me It’s like I’m already gone

All the people that I know Tell me where I need to go In a day or two or three Nothing will be wrong

I think it’s time to start again with a brand new life Leave behind some of a past that has been filled with strife Start a new family, two kids, a husband, and a wife I sold my car I’m going far to Start again beginning friendship With five minutes left to the end

Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This is not the place for me Goodbye, and so long

In 2006 (after having settled on “Sockpuppet” as a band name), I decided to celebrate how far I’d come as a musician since I started doing Song Fight!, and started a project called Plus 5 where I’d remake my first year of Song Fight! songs and release them on the fifth anniversary of the original fight.

I didn’t get through the whole year before losing interest in the project, but due to the nature of this album, I decided that the Plus 5 versions should get remastered and re-released.

It’s funny how in 2006 I thought I’d completed a journey, when clearly I still had a long way to go. I still do, really, but this is at least a step in the right direction.

In any case, the ideas from this directly informed the version I did for Transitions.

Lyrics: I LOVE YOU [Plus 5, 2006]

The sun comes right up And there’s nothing I can do But state my mind Recite my point of view

It warms up my hair Passes behind a cloud I’m sitting here Thinking here of you

It shines in my eyes Like a beautiful swirl It blows my mind And trembles in my view

I cannot think Of anyone in this world I’d rather spend my Whole life with than you

I cannot believe Our love could go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you

I take a deep breath Let it out real slow The air is warm, and Smells of sweetened dew

It warms up my head I can see it now I’m sitting here Madly loving you

The world closes in Everything’s a blur I’m feeling dizzy Look around for you

I can’t help but think This must have been a dream Because you are nowhere Within my view

I could not believe Our love would go askew I would rather think What it’s like (I’d like) to be with you

I’d like to be with you

This was recorded in posthumous tribute to its composer, Seth Gibbs, who probably did not intend for this song to be about himself.

His old band’s original version is available on Song Fight!.

Lyrics: Space Cadet

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet can you see all of the planets and stars Lifeless and empty but they know who they are He is so alone But we are really alone

Fly away, leave us alone, we don’t want you anyway I hope you’re happy floating free up in space It’s so nice up there But it’s so rotten down here

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

You watch the universe go You wishing on the last star What do you think of us now How can you live with us now

Hey cadet, where do you think You’re going don’t float away Take us with you, we’ll miss you so

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

I was going through a breakup, with someone who really wanted me to do more than I was able.

Lyrics: Falling

You shouldn’t fall For anyone at all Eventually you’re gonna hit the ground

Everything you do Please do it just for you Because you are so great to have around

And if you should fall From something ten feet tall I’ll try to catch you and make it okay

But everything I do I can’t do just for you I won’t always be there to save the day

And then if I should fall From fifty stories tall I hope that you’ll be there right next to me

And everything we do We ask each other to Even if we sometimes disagree

But you shouldn’t fall For anyone at all No matter what you think that you have found

And everything you do Please do it just for you Because I don’t want you to hit the ground

The original version of this song was written by King Arthur for the A Problem of Perspective edition of Song Fight!.

Lyrics: A Problem of Perspective

Here is the problem: The way I see you is Colored by all of the things we’ve been through. Here is the problem: The way you see me is All about the things that you think I did to you.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work; Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt, We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust. That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

Love keeps no score of wrongs, they tell me, but my Eyes won’t open and my heart won’t let go. I make assumptions, despite the things I see, I… I deny the evidence, I trust what I think I know.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work; Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt, We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust. That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

At least two sides to every story. At least one truth for every lie. The optimist afraid to disbelieve, The pessimist afraid to try.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work; Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt, We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust. That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

A song about getting away from yourself for a bit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OavIAgVHi-A

Lyrics: Change Is Coming

You don’t go places that you used to You don’t enjoy the stories that you’re used to You can’t stand anyone you’re introduced to Sitting home alone is what you’ve been reduced to

Something happened long ago inside you Now it’s back, your life won’t be the same All of the signposts that used to guide you Got pulled up by something, don’t know when it came

But change is coming It’s funny and it’s faint Yes change is coming With noses thumbing Oh, change it is coming The running refrain So humming and strange Our upcoming change

Your friends they act like they don’t recognize you And all these parts they say now that comprise you They preferred the skin that once disguised you So hard to shake the thought, that they all now despise you

But change is coming It’s funny and it’s faint Yes, change is coming With noses thumbing, oh Change it is coming The running refrain So humming and strange Our upcoming change

The you that you are now’s the only you you are You can’t go back to who you once were before Got no choice, you gotta be true to who you are Genie won’t go back inside that bottle any more

Yes change, change is coming It’s funny and still faint More change, change is coming So I’m succumbing to What you’re becoming like an Oncoming train It’s humming and strange This upcoming change

Video: Change Is Coming

Written on the night of the 2020 US Presidential election

Lyrics: Gonna Be All Right

We just don’t know If it’s gonna be all right We cannot know When it’ll be all right We gotta know That it’ll be alright I just don’t know When it’ll be all right

When it’ll be all right

We’re gonna know When it’ll be all right We’re gonna show When everything’s alright Don’t know where to go When everything’s alright But we’re gonna know That it’ll be alright

It’ll be all right

another video game soundtrack in my head

an ode to what keeps me functional

At this point I was just completely falling apart, due to basically going through menopause and feeling worthless, useless, and futureless.

I had been without hormones for a week and a half and my emotions were all over the place. Everything would set me off and I would cry and I was not in a good spot. So I wrote this thing to capture my feelings.

This day didn’t go so well, so I was looking forward to a better one.

Lyrics: You’re Never Around

where does the time all go I’m sitting waiting ‘round for you it’s the only life I know I feel like there’s nothing to do these are the themes

and then I get a friend you tell me that she’s there for me that really does depend on everything she does to me these are the themes of my life

you feed and treat me well at least whenever you’re around though I can never tell how late you’re gonna come around these are the themes of my life

and now I’m old and grey Decisions being made for me I hope that I can stay I hope that I can stay These are the themes of my life These are the themes of my life

Lyrics: 120 MPH

One hundred twenty miles per hour It sure is cold outside alone One hundred twenty miles away After an hour far from home

One hundred twenty miles between us Why did you have to hurt me so One hundred twenty miles and counting I’m sorry that I had to go

Why did you hurt me was it (turn around and glare) Something that I said (aware) I try and try (unfair)

Why did you hurt me why (turn around and stare) Did I have to leave Why do I have to love you (nowhere) ‘Till the day I die (prepare)

One hundred twenty miles per hour It is now time to move along One hundred twenty miles away From everything that was so wrong

One hundred twenty miles between us It is now crystal clear to me One hundred twenty miles and counting We simply were not meant to be

Why did I even put up with (turn around and glare) your stupidity Why did I bother with you (aware) Now I cannot see (unfair)

How could I let you lead me (catch me unaware) On so very long I hope to never miss you (we share) Now that you are gone (repair)

One hundred twenty miles per hour I’m sure to get away from you One hundred twenty miles away It has vastly improved my view

One hundred twenty miles between us I just don’t need you anymore One hundred twenty miles and counting Good riddance, don’t wait at the door

One morning I woke up to discover that the power supply on my computer caught on fire (the fan had failed a while ago and I never got around to replacing it). That was just the beginning of what turned out to be a pretty bad day overall. So I wrote this song to cope. This is my second-favorite on the album, behind Softspoken.