Originally for Song Fight!, 2006

Back before the iPhone came out there were a bunch of early smartphones which were all pretty bad. This song was inspired by one of them in particular, and about how technology can be pretty awful and self-serving. I don’t think things have really improved all that much since then, putting it mildly.

For this one I decided to do a “collaboration” of sorts between Sockpuppet and <3.

Lyrics: Robot Baby

(<3) I am not in love It is not what I am thinking of But my life is needing something more Somebody that I can care for

The morning is alright But by the time that it becomes night I don’t know what to do My empty nest is making me feel blue

(fluffy) Hey, sister, I got what you need It’s a robot baby that you don’t need to feed You just plug it in every night And it also doubles as a convenient light

It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries And inside the box is another surprise It’s a diet pill that’ll make your hair long And the side effect is that you’ll break into song

(<3) I waited my four to six weeks But by the time it was getting bleak A package it came for me I plug it in, but then what I see

When I try to sleep it glows This is something that must too lay low I am getting annoyed At this silly malfunctioning android

(fluffy) That’s not covered by the warranty But we’ll sell you one for an additional fee The product went through a focus group And what everyone wanted was a big feature soup

You can’t expect everything to work right Our scientists made it overnight Just be glad you got it in only one piece Try our other product, a robotic niece

(<3) This is such crap, I am sending it back Everything you make is so totally wack And the diet pill had the opposite effect I now weigh fifty pounds, but my song is in check

I do not think you went to the FDA I will sue you all and make you all pay To get the address I call the support line In Indonesia on my very own dime

(Jane Barbe) The number you have reached Is not in service Please check the number And dial again

(<3) Oh, fuck…

This was recorded in posthumous tribute to its composer, Seth Gibbs, who probably did not intend for this song to be about himself.

His old band’s original version is available on Song Fight!.

Lyrics: Space Cadet

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet can you see all of the planets and stars Lifeless and empty but they know who they are He is so alone But we are really alone

Fly away, leave us alone, we don’t want you anyway I hope you’re happy floating free up in space It’s so nice up there But it’s so rotten down here

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

You watch the universe go You wishing on the last star What do you think of us now How can you live with us now

Hey cadet, where do you think You’re going don’t float away Take us with you, we’ll miss you so

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us To bring us together

The original version of this song was written by King Arthur for the A Problem of Perspective edition of Song Fight!.

Lyrics: A Problem of Perspective

Here is the problem: The way I see you is Colored by all of the things we’ve been through. Here is the problem: The way you see me is All about the things that you think I did to you.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work; Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt, We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust. That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

Love keeps no score of wrongs, they tell me, but my Eyes won’t open and my heart won’t let go. I make assumptions, despite the things I see, I… I deny the evidence, I trust what I think I know.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work; Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt, We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust. That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

At least two sides to every story. At least one truth for every lie. The optimist afraid to disbelieve, The pessimist afraid to try.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work; Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt, We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust. That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

This song was inspired by repeatedly tapping the tuning fork button on my portable amp.

Lyrics: A Long Plastic Hallway

it’s inimical inimitable and so predictable not a miracle

it’s despicable deliverable get irritable, with a thread to pull, feeling minimal

a seeming emptiness encroaching loneliness result of pettiness, try to redress the phoniness

acrimonious sanctimonious a former holiness, the brokenness melodious

finding time to spare sit in the broken chair being unaware, without a care all thoughts laid bare

a tantric suicide already dead inside climb up the hillside, across the divide, smell insecticide

there’s a new tomorrow, it’s falling into place there’s a new tomorrow, it’s running out of space there’s a new tomorrow, it’s all fucked up get your new tomorrow, you’re out of luck

get a steady job, and another piece of me get a big tv, and another take get a new degree, stuck in the machinery in the new tomorrow, you get what you make

it’s inimical counterfactual and so predictable not a miracle

it’s despicable deliverable get irritable, with a thread to pull, feeling minimal

and you simply cannot see what this all has done to me simply cannot see through the crooked lies simply cannot see everything that’s eating me nobody is looking through each others’ eyes

simply cannot see what this all has meant to me simply cannot see through the skin disguise simply cannot see all the greater piece of me walking through the hallway something on the rise

feeling critical and irritable analytical parasitical

apocalyptical stereotypical it’s predictable, hypocritical, and a miracle

A song done to celebrate the birthday of my friend Heather “moboid” Kelley.

Specific works referenced:

• Super Hypercube
• Kokoromi in general
• Lapis
• Body Heat
• Fez
• I Crave Rapport
• Let’s Talk About Me
• Joue le jeu / Play Along
• Our First Times
• 4 Minutes and 33 Seconds of Uniqueness

Lyrics: Play That Game

What’s going on there is nothing to do Everything I have makes me think of you What’s on the TV please give me a clue Maybe I’ll try to play something that’s new So I try to play a game But they’re all just all the same

Throw me some blocks flying through outer space Wearing a helmet that’s strapped to my face Something artistic, something with grace Something experimental that takes place In a world I call my own Makes me feel at home

I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game

I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game

Experiment with all the feelings inside Help me to find something i can provide Give me ideas, try not to hide from the Animals concrete the organs implied (I wanna pet the rabbit) (please help me pet the rabbit)

Look around corners that no-one could see Making a difference so expressively Craving rapport as we drift to the sea What are we saying, let’s talk about me, ‘cause I’m Valid and I’m proud Quiet scream out loud

I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game

I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game

Falling down through space Make friends with a place Keeping a straight face Save the human race

I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game

I think that I’ve played that game I think that I’ve played that game

I think that I’ll play that game I think that I’ll play that game

I think that I’ll make a game I think that I’ll make a game

Lyrics: I Don’t Know What Your Problem Is

i don’t know what your problem is but i think you might be right no i don’t know what your problem is but i think you might be right

Official music video at https://youtu.be/ybxZcpc_0EA

Lyrics: Strangers

In my house In my house What is this person that I do not think I know Doing in my house

In my house In my house He must have snuck in through the bedroom door Living like a mouse

He says he is my husband I’ve never seen him before He knows everything about me I’ll have to show him the door

Not my spouse He’s not my spouse I think I would remember having brought him Into my house

It’s my house He’s in my house Why is this person laughing right at me Sitting in my house

So many pictures of us together The room is starting to blur He says he’s beginning to worry about me But I just can’t be sure I can’t be sure

In my house In my house What is this person that I do not know Doing in my house

Video: Strangers

Lyrics: You Believed It Yourself

I look in your window and nobody’s there last night you told me you’d be doing your hair

I really do think if we’re going somewhere We should be honest About the feelings we share

but you tell another story or you tell another lie it is doing nothing for me i don’t know why you even try

I’m so very sorry I hope you are fine I worry about you Getting sick all the time

So I have to wonder Just give me a clue How you were out with friends While sick with the flu

and you tell another story and you tell another lie it is doing nothing for me i don’t know why you even try

I don’t want to hear it How your mother just died This isn’t the first time That you have outright lied

I know what you’re saying Isn’t honestly true Or did you believe the person I paid to tell you?

but you tell another story or you tell another lie it is doing nothing for me i don’t know why you even try

and you tell another story and you tell another lie i know you really abhor me i don’t know why you even try

Lyrics: Sometimes It’s Hard to Keep Yourself Moving

Wake up in the morning Before the alarm goes Trying to fall back to sleep Still in last night’s clothes Lying half awake, I still can’t get up when the beeping starts Why would I

Sleepwalk through the morning On the way to work That guy on the bicycle is Such a stupid jerk I think I should push him over Just to show him up But why would I

Sometimes it is very hard to keep yourself moving when it’s gone haywire

Monday morning meeting Going way too long Finished up my coffee but the coffee isn’t strong I feel like I need to sleep I need to keep moving but why would I

Tuesday PM meeting Life is way too short Everything I try to say cut off with a retort Why does this guy work here, he’s a jerk, here, I should shut him up why would I

Sometimes it is very hard to keep yourself moving when it’s all haywire

Oh, listen to me Think about the damage done How hard can it be Just to have a little fun

Wednesday morning dreary I get nothing done Thursday comes and Friday goes Still get nothing done I should reconsider my Career choice, find a new voice but Why would I

Sometimes it is very hard to keep yourself moving when it’s gone haywire

Lyrics: Sorry To Inform You

Thank you for your interest We hope you will be fine But we have decided Your candidacy is not on the line

Your permanent record states You were truant three times And then the incident Where you colored outside of the lines

Another record Of which we are aware A piece of gum that You placed in Miss Marshall’s hair

We know you are thinking It was so long ago But you were warned about Throwing a rock in a ball of snow

Your auditor noted GOOD BEHAVIOR for thirty years But we strongly believe Past actions will shape future careers

Due to these factors We’re sure you will agree Your best course of action A reeducation facility

Lyrics: In The Desert

I grew up in the desert Dry air always made my eyes hurt Ran around with nowhere to go When I really wanted there to be snow Almost never got it in the desert

My mind made up I tried to move away But everywhere I got I couldn’t stay

I grew up in the desert All the people I knew they made my mind hurt

I went somewhere else got on a plane I wanted to get my five minutes of fame Everything I did I needed gin or ginseng I ran faster to get more of the same

I will always be from the desert No matter what, you’re covered in dirt

Where I’m living now there’s plenty of rain And everything I know is ijust more of the same Someday I might go back to where from I came

I grew up in the desert

Lyrics: tw3rp

What are you doing to me In the name of being free I never liked you But you ought to know

The things I hold dear you break Everything I try to make You only wanted destruction You reap what you sow

Come on, baby Just think, maybe You’re not the person That you think you are but instead

Just take one minute To see the limit Please understand there’s Nothing going on in your head

And then you did it again To try to impress your friends I don’t think they really like you I thought you should know

The things you’re doing to me To achieve immortality You only wanted attention But please let it go

Come on, baby Just think, maybe You’re not the person That you think you are but instead

Just take one minute To see the limit Please understand there’s Nothing going on in your head

What are you doing to me In the name of being free It is a pointless distraction But what do you know

Come on, baby Just think, maybe You’re not the person That you think you are but instead

Just take one minute To see the limit Please understand there’s Nothing going on in your head

Come on, baby Just think, maybe You’re not the person That you think you are but instead

Just take one minute To see the limit Please understand there’s Nothing going on in your head

Lyrics: Run Faster

I’m giving it my all But I’m heading for a fall When all that I can do Is run faster

For something less than I am worth As I tumble down to Earth But all that I can do Is run faster

Please listen to the way I feel I need to get some more time to heal My lungs are getting ready to explode I can’t run any faster

I get the feeling I should leave It’s getting harder to believe You don’t know what it is I’m going through I’m running faster

How can you tell me what to do If I am dead I will not see things through What you want isn’t easy done or said I’d like to see you run faster

I’ve given you my all But I’m ready for a fall When all you let me do Is run faster

I’ve given you my all But I’m ready for a fall When all you let me do Is run faster