Originally made this for a game which got cancelled due to time constraints and overly-ambitious scope, so it’s unfinished.
The actual boss fight music for Yamatsu.
This is the combat theme but with some extra pizzazz.
This was an idea for Yamatsu’s boss fight music, although it was rejected for not fitting the vibe. Totally valid.
The title of this track is a Simpsons + Wagner reference.
It was August 2004. I had just moved to New York City in July, and I had dreams of establishing myself as a musician and also finally transitioning and being able to be myself.
Turns out that “myself” is still just super introverted and socially anxious, and places like New York wear me down faster than they build me up.
Anyway the bit about “start a new family” was inspired by a stupid cishet-normative ad for life insurance that was plastered all over the subway at the time, about a mediocre man wanting to start a family and have two kids. In my take on it in the lyrics I never actually specify which part of the family I’d be taking, and I like to think that I’m just some sort of random factor that leads to a family being started without any continuing involvement of my own. Or maybe I’m the family pet. Who knows. This song is about random nerve firings that were going through my brain while sitting lonely on the subway and feeling isolated, and not about my actual aspirations.
This song always sort of felt like it would be the pivotal moment in a semi-fictional musical about my life, and I guess that in the end, that’s kind of what this album as a whole is.
This song would also be the second-to-last Song Fight! song I entered under the “band” name “fluffy porcupine.”
New York was, also, not the place for me, and a few months after first recording Run Faster (which was about my job situation in New York), I would end up moving to Seattle, and it was time to reinvent myself again. I experimented with a few different band names before finally settling on “Sockpuppet,” a reference to how many other names I’d been operating under, and how I am one person presenting myself as an entire ensemble.
In effect, this song marked the ending of one chapter in my life, and the beginning of the next. But my story is still being written, at least for now.
Just like in a picture show I know where I want to go This is not the place for me And I’m moving on
There are people that I know In the place I want to go I can be what I wanna be I hope I’m not wrong
I think it’s time for me to get my five minutes of fame When I get there everybody will be so glad that I came It won’t be so long before everyone knows my name Without a doubt we’ll talk about the Things I never ever thought I’d Find someone to talk to about
Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This just seems so right for me It’s like I’m already gone
All the people that I know Tell me where I need to go In a day or two or three Nothing will be wrong
I think it’s time to start again with a brand new life Leave behind some of a past that has been filled with strife Start a new family, two kids, a husband, and a wife I sold my car I’m going far to Start again beginning friendship With five minutes left to the end
Just like in a picture show I know where I’m gonna go This is not the place for me Goodbye, and so long
Back in the late 90s I had a quite vivid dream about an impossible love that could not exist, and I wrote the first version of the lyrics for this song, and had a vague idea for the chords.
In either late December 2000 or early January 2001, I was visiting my parents during winter break from grad school and noticed that a bunch of my favorite webcomics were all part of what was called the Dumbrella collective. I decided to poke around on the main Dumbrella website, and I noticed a thing on it called “Song Fight!,” which was a songwriting contest where the person running it, Narbotic, would invite his friends to make songs for a single title, as a continuation from his own website where he’d take random title suggestions and make weird little songs for them.
There was also an announcement that the next title, Zero to Phantom, would be open to anyone to submit to the title.
I had absolutely no ideas for it.
But the next title to go up, I LOVE YOU, reminded me of the song I’d written a few years before, and I decided to dust it off. I figured that it’d make a perfect guitar song.
The problem is, I only barely knew a couple of chords, and I didn’t have a guitar. At this point nearly all of my music production had been weird chiptunes.
So I went to a pawn shop and paid too much for some broken and dusty piece of crap, and figured out a few more chords, and I didn’t have a pick so I sanded down a chunk of a broken CD-R to make one, and I tried to record the song.
Unfortunately, I did not know how to actually record live audio, and I didn’t have the finger strength or stamina to even play through the whole song anyway.
So, I sampled all of the chords I knew and a couple of little riffs, loaded them up into Impulse Tracker, and tried sequencing the chords together. Then I recorded my vocals and chopped them up into samples and loaded them up into Impulse Tracker too, and then kinda-sorta assembled things together.
At the time, I didn’t know how to sing, either. I also hadn’t worked out the rhythm of the vocals and just kind of figured it out as I went.
The song was an absolute mess. But I submitted it to Song Fight! anyway, and the reaction was… adequate enough that it inspired me to keep going, and this started my process of slowly building up a bunch of skills for songwriting, guitar playing, recording, singing, and so much more.
This isn’t the first song I ever wrote, but it is ultimately the one that started me on my journey as a musician.
The sun comes right up And there’s nothing I can do But state my mind, recite my point of view
It warms up my hair Passes behind a cloud I’m sitting here, thinking here of you
It shines in my eyes Like a beautiful swirl It blows my mind, and trembles in my view
I cannot think Of anyone in this world I’d rather spend my whole life with than you
I cannot believe Our love could go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
I take a deep breath Let it out real slow The air is warm and smells of sweetened dew
It warms up my head I can see it now I’m sitting here, madly loving you
The world closes in Everything’s a blur I’m feeling dizzy, look around for you
I can’t help but think This must have been a dream Because you are nowhere within my view
I could not believe Our love would go askew I would rather think What it’s like to be with you
I’d like to be with you
This is a version that I’d done for Plus 5. If it weren’t for the fact I’d already re-redone this song for Love and Monsters it’d have gone onto Transitions, so I figured I’d might as well put this version onto Deadnames for completeness’ sake.
This song, incidentally, was about the same breakup that Birds Of Our Own was sort of about.
One hundred twenty miles per hour It sure is cold outside alone One hundred twenty miles away After an hour far from home
One hundred twenty miles between us Why did you have to hurt me so One hundred twenty miles and counting I’m sorry that I had to go
Why did you hurt me was it (turn around and glare) Something that I said (aware) I try and try (unfair)
Why did you hurt me why (turn around and stare) Did I have to leave Why do I have to love you (nowhere) ‘Till the day I die (prepare)
One hundred twenty miles per hour It is now time to move along One hundred twenty miles away From everything that was so wrong
One hundred twenty miles between us It is now crystal clear to me One hundred twenty miles and counting We simply were not meant to be
Why did I even put up with (turn around and glare) your stupidity Why did I bother with you (aware) Now I cannot see (unfair)
How could I let you lead me (catch me unaware) On so very long I hope to never miss you (we share) Now that you are gone (repair)
One hundred twenty miles per hour I’m sure to get away from you One hundred twenty miles away It has vastly improved my view
One hundred twenty miles between us I just don’t need you anymore One hundred twenty miles and counting Good riddance, don’t wait at the door
Originally for Song Fight!, 2010
This was a dumb idea I had right before the deadline and the original recording took me about 5 minutes to do, including composing it and writing the lyrics.
This version took me a little longer to do.
Open up your door Open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door
Open up your door (Open up!) Open up your door (Please open!) Open up your door (Could you open the door please?) Please open up your door (I know you’re in there!)
Open up your door (I can see the light on through the window) Please open up your door (Could you please open the door?) Open up your door (The door, you should open it!) Please open up your door (I know you’re in there!)
Open up your door Please open up your door Open up your door Please open up your door I need to use your bathroom
Prototype battle theme made for an abandoned, untitled Pokémon fangame.
If I had a nickel for every time someone wanted me to make battle theme music for a Pokémon fan game for a game jam and then disappeared on me without apparently having even started to make the game, I’d have ten cents, which isn’t a lot of money, but it’s annoying that it happened twice.
Diana’s character theme song from Full Course.
Diana was meant to be a very posh, aristocratic person with refined tastes, and this is the music that popped into my head based on that description.
The composite soundtrack for Magnolia’s Early Morning Walk, a short game done for a game jam.
The different sections of this piece are the short looping motifs for the various scenes in the intended game, with different emotional variations on two overall themes that represent the protagonist’s state of mind.
A soundtrack done for a seasons greetings video for the Trans Academy.
This was done as a stylistic riff on the front half of “Linus and Lucy” by Vince Guaraldi, with a Motown-inspired jazz sound (and an anachronistic touch of disco, as has been my tendency lately).
The main theme from Full Course, a canceled visual novel project.
In this game you would have played Morgan, a young adult who experiences multiple mental health challenges, and also “sees” other people as various foods befitting their personalities. This theme song is also Morgan’s theme, and was going to have several variations based on different moods and situations.
Background music for an informational video welcoming visitors to the Trans Academy.
The video this was for was intended to be an overview of the Trans Academy and what it does, with several different motifs to indicate the different aspects of the world and community. The video’s scope had to be pulled back somewhat, but this became the basis of the overall musical design and audio logos I developed for the Academy going forward. You will hear the Academy themes and motifs in several of the other songs on this album.
Used in the game Currying Flavors (https://chinniedraws.itch.io/currying-flavors)
This was the 2016 Live Fight entry for Song Fight! Live! in New York City.
It’s just a happy accident that these two Live Fight entries from the same city happened to go next to each other on this album.
This thing I found lying in the street Don’t know what it is but it’s pretty neat When I picked it up, it filled me with energy
Now everyone’s always lookin’ around Turning their head to see this thing I found Give me a look, I think that it’s jealousy
It’ll always be my lucky charm Keeping me safe and free from harm I know everything will always be okay
Everything all said, I’m good At least long as I’m touching wood My good luck charm will always save the day
It looks kind of like a rocket ship Keep it on my belt, held it with a clip And suddenly nobody wants to fight
Walking through the village green, Lots of people say “that’s keen!” Some of them even cheer and shout “All right!”
A baker must be what I be Because everybody says to me Something about the dough made of dill that I wear
I’m not quite sure what they mean But I don’t want to make a scene Anyway they said to look out for a bear
I walked on by a man in blue He took one look and said “how do you do, I think I’m gonna take you into custody”
I wasn’t sure just what he meant But then it was clear this was heaven-sent Because that bear can never get to me