Sunny Again
From Transitions
Back in 2003, when this song was originally written, it was considered “okay” and “funny” to dox and harass trans people. And if it happened to someone, clearly it was their fault for being trans and not being 100% perfect at keeping their private information private.
Ask me how I know.
In the midst of getting dozens of harassing phone calls, random evangelists being sent to my door hearing I’d “found Jesus,” and being added to dozens of religious mailing lists, I was, as you might expect, pretty tired and grumpy.
And the people around me thought it was just a joke, or my fault for being trans. What could I expect from society, because of this “choice” I “made?”
And meanwhile, being largely in the closet in person, I couldn’t even share that this was going on with most people around me. They could see that I was stressed, but as usual, leaned hard on toxic positivity nonsense, telling me that I needed to cheer up and that things weren’t so bad.
Sometimes you just need to wallow and hide, and sometimes it’s okay to tell people to fuck right off, especially when they refuse to get it.
The original version of this song was a lot angrier, and also only had three chords. It was one of the first songs to be selected for remixing on Remix Fight (a long-gone side project from a bunch of Song Fight! people), and I was fortunate enough to have the song be remixed by Victor “fourstones” Stone, who would later go on to found ccMixter. I had actually forgotten all about that until a few days before I started on this track (and had no idea how I was going to handle this song) and his remix came up in my playlist, and one of the changes he made to the chord progression gave me the inspiration I needed to complete my new arrangement.
So, thank you, Victor, wherever you are.
Lyrics
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Why did someone have to chase the clouds away I just don’t want to come outside and play I just want the rain to wash my tears away
Don’t want you coming here, try to change my mind You don’t know just how I feel, I feel I’m feeling fine You don’t know what it’s like, living in my brain It’s not the things you think that keep me in this pain
Today is just another sunny day Why don’t you go and chase some fucking clouds away I don’t want to come outside and play today I just want the rain to wash my tears away
I’m being eaten at, attacked from every side They smack me down, want me to drown, and take me for a ride You want to make me think it isn’t them it’s me It will not work, don’t be a jerk, I know how it should be
Oh it’s just another sunny day I wish the clouds could come and stay, for that I pray Please just leave me alone and go away Don’t want to see you now, just leave me alone today
I know it seems I’m on the edge of something bad You scream and shout that I’m “flipping out,” you’re just making me mad I’m the one who’s fine, it’s everyone else who’s insane But people suck, I’m out of luck, I just can’t play the game
Oh, it’s just another sunny day Please let me be, don’t bother me today (please bother me) I’m sick of you trying to chase my clouds away (chase my clouds away) I just want you to go the fuck away
It’s just another sunny day Why did someone have to chase my clouds away I just don’t want to come outside and play I just want you to stay